


I Swear I Thought I Dreamed Her

by Nevermore (KAS_AuthorsApprentice)



Series: Adventures with the Andors! [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It, M/M, Multi, Novelization, Rebelcaptain - Freeform, Shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-19 18:32:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 37,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9455117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KAS_AuthorsApprentice/pseuds/Nevermore
Summary: Jeron and Stardust met by chance one night on Corulag when they were both looking for a way to forget. They never thought they would see each other again...What if Cassian and Jyn met a few weeks before the events of Rogue One? What if they'd shared a *ahem* passionate night together, thinking they would never see each other again…what happens when they unexpectedly do?





	1. Of All the Gin Joints in All the Galaxy

**Author's Note:**

> What is they had met a few weeks before the events of Rogue One? What if they'd shared a *ahem* passionate night together, thinking they would never see each other again…what happens when they unexpectedly do?
> 
> Doesn't that change the entire vibe of the scenes from the film? We'll find out!
> 
> *Disclaimer—this story contains some PG-13/R rated material but that's because of the plot…the chapters after this will not. (not right away) It's not all sex, I promise.
> 
> Connect with me on Tumbler: https://walkingonstars5007.tumblr.com/
> 
> I own nothing, enjoy!

Chapter 1: Of All the Gin Joints in all the Galaxy…

Corulag. Jyn had only been here for a week and she was already sick of it. She was getting no where in her scheme against the dictator and she was running out of time. If they were going to blow up his ship they needed to move fast. She could’ve strangled the Aqualish—If it were possible to strangle one—when he told her they hadn’t turned up any useful information. She’d just have to pull it off herself, it was better that way. She didn’t trust the Aqualish or his men. Something shifty about their eyes.

She would worry about it in the morning. Tonight she needed to unwind.

She kept her head down while she was on the main streets, not relaxing until she’d reached the back alleys. Here, in the parts of the city not so heavily patrolled, she ducked into one of a dozen bars. The same bar she’d been frequenting all week.

It wasn’t crowded. In fact, it was nearly dead. Good.

People gave her a headache. There was a couple in the corner and one man, alone at the bar. She slipped onto an empty stool a few seats down from the man then ordered a beer. The stranger, she saw, had three empty shot glasses before him, so he was probably to far gone to be good conversation. Just as well, she needed to keep a low profile. She sipped at her beer in silence.

The movement of his arm as he signaled the barkeep caught her attention, as did his heavily accented voice when he said, “Another whiskey.”

Before she could look away, his eyes slid to to hers and their gazes met. He quirked a dark brow and said, “It’s not polite to stare.”

She rolled her eyes and snapped her attention back to the half-empty beer before her. She thought about what her next move would be to take down the dictator. She definitely did not think about the fact that the deep brown of her beer was quite similar to the stranger’s eyes. Or the way his voice had rolled off his tongue smooth as warm chocolate. He apparently had not gotten the hint.

Suddenly, he was there, sitting on the stool right next to her, their elbows almost touching on the bar top where they rested. “Playing it safe tonight?” He asked tipping his head toward her beer.

“No.” She said. “I’m just warming up.” Why had she said that? Flirting with a stranger in a back alley bar was the last thing she needed to be doing. But…she had promised herself she’d unwind. Drinking wasn’t the only way to relieve some tension—and that train of thought was headed to the wrong station.

His smile made little wrinkles appear around his dark eyes. She found that adorable, against her better judgement. When the barkeep dropped off the stranger’s shot he slid it toward her and nodded for another to be brought for himself. If he were any normal bar creep she’d have thrown the shot in his face…but he wasn’t. Three words from him and she knew that he wasn’t. They were alike. They belonged to the daylight. They were just here in the dark together to escape for a night. So, she raised her glass and he did the same.

“What shall we toast to?” She asked. Please don’t say the Empire…

“To pretending.”

“To pretending.” She echoed. The whiskey burned her throat. Truthfully, she wasn’t a fan of it. She could drink a man under the table but that didn’t mean she liked the taste. She wrinkled her nose and let out a groan. When she opened her eyes she found him watching her again, his lips quirked at the corners, the barest hint of a smile.

He set the shot glass down and angled his body toward her. “What’s you name?”

And this was why she didn’t talk to people. She cast about for a response finally settling on, “Does it matter?”

“Fair enough.” He’s said, “I’m Cas—“ but she cut him off with a finger to his lips.

“Don’t. I don’t want to know.”

He studied her for a while and she got the feeling it was something he did a lot of. “Well, I’ll need something to call you.”

“Stardust.” The word was out of her mouth before she could even realize what she’d given away. She wanted to grab the word out of the air and snatch it back and lock it back away in her heart. She kept her heart under tight lock and key—and he’d sidled over and blown the lid right open. But how?

She had her answer the moment he locked eyes with her and repeated it. “Stardust. I like it.” The way his accent caressed each letter was like being wrapped in a warm towel after the rain. He could use that voice of his to his advantage…and again, she got the feeling it was something he did a lot of.

She could think of a hundred names for him. Danger. Trouble. Sinful. His choice was less creative, “It’s nice to meet you Stardust. I’m Jeron.” He raked a hand through his shaggy hair and said, “So, can I buy you another drink, Stardust?”

Jyn saw the question in his eyes. He wasn’t just asking for a drink. Her mind filled with images—him pressing her against the bar’s wall, his rough stubble scraping against her bare shoulder. She didn’t trust her voice so she just nodded. He smiled—a real one this time.

Later, she would recall that his Corellian jacket belonged to the rebels. That he smelled like engine oil and peppermint. That he tasted like whiskey and blood. She would remember the way her stomach fluttered every time his fingertips grazed her skin. She would recall the deep bruises on his back, sprinkled in with the long healed scars. She would recall the fire in his gaze and how she felt it reflected in her own. She would yearn for these things when they were gone.

* * *

 

She didn’t ask why he was in the bar and Cassian was grateful for it. He wouldn’t have told her the truth anyway. After he’d bought her a third shot, they had talked, exchanged fake backstories about childhoods and lives that didn’t really exist. Stardust and Jeron—two normal people. Two people that only existed in the minds of two lonely souls.

Cassian was adept at playing the role of casual observer but he found it impossible to maintain any subtly as he watched her. He blamed the whiskey. She was only a girl—and really she was. Younger even than him. But her green eyes were world-weary to match his, maybe even rival it. He couldn’t remember the exact moment he’d decided to kiss her…maybe it was the moment he saw her. He’d asked her if there was anything she had always wanted to do but hadn’t yet.

“Fly a ship.” She said and he was undone. He lunged forward capturing her lips with his. It was like she’d been expecting it, waiting for it even. She responded at once, threading her fingers in his hair, nails grazing his scalp and sending tingles down his spine. It was fierce and sloppy—they were both a bit drunk by that point. He sucked at her bottom lip until it was swollen and pink. Other parts of him were getting there too.

They were so wrapped up in each other they hadn’t even heard the barkeep telling them to take it outside until he’d let out a keening whistle. Cassian’s cheeks were burning as he paid the man. He’d never be able to come back to this bar again. But she was worth it. He turned to find that _she_ was gone. He only panicked for a moment before he spotted her, leaning in the doorway, grinning at him.

He jogged up to her and whispered, “There’s an inn on the next street over.”

She snaked her arms around his hips and squeezed his arse. “What are you waiting for? Lead the way.”

Somehow they got to the inn and by the time he was unlocking the door his fingers were trembling. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with anyone let alone a one night stand with a girl he picked up in a bar. It wasn’t really his style—it definitely wasn’t. But tonight he was Jeron. Tonight he needed to forget that his hands were capable of murder and believe that they were capable of love.

Cassian opened the door and followed her in. They might have shut the door—or maybe not. All he knew was her, pressed back against the wall mewling in approval as his body melded against hers. The first time they didn’t even make it to the bed. They didn’t even make it out of all of their clothes. But they had all night for that. One night. Only one.

He unbuttoned her shirt, ripping a button or two in the process. Her hands fumbled with his belt. He pulled off her boots and leggings, baring her toned legs for his lips to explore. He trailed kisses up her thighs, but she stopped him.

She threaded her fingers in his hair and tugged him back up to her. “That later. Inside me now.”

He didn’t argue. Her undergarment and chest band joined the floor and he pressed into her. They both cried out, going still for a moment to enjoy the relief of being joined. It was fast after that up against the wall.

Later is was slow and quiet. Later he had time to watch her reactions when he touched her here or kissed her there. He’d keep those memories with him after. He’d long for them when they were gone.


	2. When My Time Comes Around

"You are being rescued!" The droid craned it's mechanical neck at her where she lay in the dirt, "Congratulations."

Jyn's back hurt too much for a snide remark so she settled for her most withering glare. They took her then, the Rebels, though they didn't tell her where. She briefly wondered if they would take her to Saw but she quickly realized how unlikely that was. Saw didn't want her.

She was sure of one thing, the jungle moon they'd landed on was far too humid to be called habitable. The air smelled like rot, sweat and flesh—but, she supposed, it beat prison. Jyn curled her lip as the rebels pushed her onward until they were out of the jungle and inside a ziggurat that the rebels had clearly hijacked for their own purposes. Anachronistic cables and machinery decorated the ancient stone structure, obscuring the carvings and hieroglyphs.

She was taken (less-than-gently) to a crowded bunker and seated at a conference table while the entire assembly stared her down. Since they were openly staring at her, she assumed she was free to do the same. Two Generals, one decidedly more off-putting than the other. A kind looking woman in pristine white robes…and no Saw.

"You're currently calling yourself Liana Hallik. Is that correct?" The scowling General with rust-colored hair towered over her, peering down his nose with disapproval.

Jyn said nothing. Silence was often the best defense.

"Possession of unsanctioned weapons, forgery of Imperial documents, aggra…"

He went on listing her achievements and her eyes roamed the crowd again. A man in the shadows was looking down at a datapad. There was something familiar about the cut of his hair, his rigid posture.

Vaguely, she heard the rust General say the words Jyn Erso. But it might have been any name in the universe that he said because, at that moment, the only name she could comprehend was _Jeron_. He was here, and Force was he handsome. Her liquor soaked brain hadn't quite captured the details.

As if he felt her gaze, he lifted his intelligent brown eyes from the datapad and found her. She half expected him to say, "It's not polite to stare, Stardust." As he had the night they met. Instead, his face drained of its color. He blinked, handed the datapad off to another without even looking at them and unconsciously gravitated toward her.

Unbidden suspicion rose in her. He was here…but why was he here?

With effort she tore her eyes away from the man she never thought she'd see again and addressed the general who knew her name. "What is this?" A horrifying thought stabbed at her heart. Had Jeron known who she was? Had these tyrants sent him to find her?

"It's a chance for you to make a fresh start." This came from the immaculately dressed woman. "We think you might be able to help us." Her gentle tone didn't mask her authority.

"Who are you?" Jyn's eyes flicked back to him. He'd recovered from his shock, his face sliding into a cold mask of itself—one she did not care for. It was cold and hard and devoid of the spark that made him so enticing in the bar. That spark was a hard thing to come by and it was a shame to see it squandered.

"You know who she is." The general spat.

The woman silenced him with a wave of her hand. Thank the Force. "My name is Mon Mothma. I sit on the council of Alliance High Command, and I approved your extraction from Wobani."

Jyn knew the name. So, this was the Alliance HQ. Now she was even more confused. Not only was Jeron, Alliance…he was important…and he was walking toward her, struggling to mask the uncertainty in his eyes.

"This is Captain Cassian Andor," Mon Mothma said, "Rebel Alliance Intelligence."

"Cassian." She hadn't meant to say it out loud…but her hormones had other plans. It was such a perfect name. It was his name. The piece that had been missing that night. Ostensibly she'd known that Jeron was an alias, and she'd spent more time than she cared to admit imaging what his real name might be…but nothing had suited him like, "Cassian." She realized her mistake when she caught the fleeting look of wonder on his face; the slight narrowing of the General's beady eyes; the drawing together of Mothma's brows.

Cassian stood away from her, wonder fading into wariness, fear. Afraid of her? Served him right. She wanted to stare him down and say all the things running through her mind.  _You have no idea who I am. What I've seen. What I'm capable of._ She said none of those things. 

He cleared his throat and reigned in his features, smoothing them again into that unreadable mask, "When was the last time you were in contact with your father?"

She flinched. His words were as good as a slap in the face. She didn't like where this was going and she really didn't like that it was coming from those lips—those lips that she'd fantasized about since Corulag. "Fifteen years ago." She said.

"Any idea where he's been all this time?" His tone was insistent and she got the feeling that he was asking her an entirely different question with his eyes.

The other people in the room faded into the background and there was only him. there was an intimacy to their conversation even now, even here, even discussing her estranged father whom she hadn't thought of in years. He took one final step closer, crossing some invisible line...some line that changed them from interrogator and interrogatee into man and woman.

Without meaning to she leaned forward in her chair.

What was the question? Something about her father? Oh right, where was he?

"I like to think he's dead," She jutted her chin out, asking him questions of her own. _Was it all a lie? It didn't feel like a lie. Will you pretend it didn't happen?_ "Makes things easier."

"Makes things easier." He echoed, and she knew he understood. Not just the words but the true meaning behind them.

He snapped out of their trance. His dark gaze flicked to his superiors, all of whom were watching the exchange with equal parts interest and suspicion.

Jyn heard a few hushed whispers from the rebels on the fringes of the room. Cassian must have too because he straightened and his voice came out colder, "Easier than what? Than him being a tool of the Imperial war machine?"

"I've never had the luxury of political opinions." She quirked an eyebrow at him.

His eyes narrowed. "Really? When was your last contact with Saw Gerrera?"

"It's been a long time."

"He'd remember you, though, wouldn't he? He might agree to meet you, if you came as a friend."

"I don't know if I can answer that until I know who you are." She said. "Are you a friend?"

Cassian rose to the bate. "Yes. Of course." He said with more passion than the conversation required.

The whispers resumed.

"We're up against the clock here girl." The General took over. He shot Cassian a questioning glare. "So, if you two are quite finished with whatever this—" he motioned between her and Cassian, "—whatever this is, we will get back to the matter at hand."

"I was a child." She said honestly, "Saw saved my life…but I haven't seen him in years…and what does any of this have to do with my father?"

Cassian leaned toward her, "There's an Imperial defector in Jedha. Saw took him hostage. He's claiming that the Empire is building a weapon that could destroy entire planets."

A shiver travelled down her spine. His eyes were unguarded and she saw a new emotion there—fear. The conversation continued about the pilot…and a message from her father. That's when her mind shut off. Her father? Alive? Alive and trying to contact her? It was all too much. She wanted to run and despite herself no place looked safer than Cassian's arms. They could forget together one more time. But that wasn't an option. She was mistaking Cassian with Jeron…and they were not the same; just as she was not Stardust. She couldn't afford to be. Jeron was gone. Like saw. Like her parents. Cassian might as well have been a stranger. Everything he'd told her had been a lie…and she knew that…but it was okay because she was never going to see him again.

Mon Mothma continued, "You will accompany Captain Andor to retrieve the pilot who carries the message…and if you succeed, we will make sure you go free."

Jyn locked her gaze with Cassian's and said with all the conviction she could muster. "When do we leave?"

* * *

 

General Davits Draven prided himself on his ability to read people. He didn't miss the subtle clues. Which is why he was not at all pleased with what he'd just witnessed between this criminal trash and his most trusted intelligence officer.

Of course, he trusted Cassian implicitly…but he did not, however, trust this Jyn Erso.

He waited until the room had cleared before turning to Mon Mothma and making his fears known, "Are you sure its a good idea? Sending Captain Andor and Miss Erso on this mission unsupervised."

Mon Mothma quirked a delicate brow, hardly concealing her smile. "What exactly is it you fear will happen to them?"

"I only meant that—"

"I know what you meant, General. I was in the room. The girl is a means to an end. Let Captain Andor use that however he sees fit. I trust his judgement."

"It's hers that I don't trust." He turned to his assistant. "Follow." He said. He saluted Mothma and stalked out, his assistant at his heels.

* * *

 

Cassian found her asleep in the hanger, her folded jacket acting as a pillow. She'd slipped out of the meeting room before he could get to her and it had taken him nearly an hour to track her down.

He crouched down at her side. "Jyn." He said softly. There was a crease between her brows and he found himself fighting the urge to brush his knuckle along that crease and make it disappear.

"I'm not sleeping." Her green eyes snapped open, "It's not polite to stare. Remember?"

"If you're not sleeping then what would you call what you're doing?"

"Hiding from you, obviously. We leave in a few hours and I haven't slept in the last few days."

He nodded. "Come on." He reached a hand out to help her but she eyed it with skepticism.

"What part of hiding from you did you not understand?"

"You can sleep in my room."

Jyn scoffed and rolled over to face the wall giving him a nice view of her pert butt, not that he was looking. Her words startled him from his memories of that butt and how it had felt when he'd grabbed hold of it and scraped his nails up the soft flesh...

"One night, remember? The girl you think you know…she's not real, Cassian."

He realized then what she thought he'd meant when he offered to let her sleep in his room. He wanted to make a sarcastic comeback but her words made him hold his tongue. He didn't believe that Stardust wasn't real. Jeron was real enough, just long buried and covered in scars. Stardust was real…somewhere in this small woman she was real. This time, when he felt the urge to touch her, he didn't deny himself. He ghosted his hand over her shoulder and said, "Jyn, come with me. I'll sleep on the floor. You have been in prison sleeping on all manner of uncomfortable surfaces, I'm sure. Just take my bed and get a good few hours of rest. You'll need it. I promise it's more comfortable than the hangar floor."

At some point, she'd craned her neck to look at him. And to his surprise, she nodded. "Alright. But don't get any ideas, Captain."

He held up his hands in surrender, "I can be a perfect Gentleman, I promise."

With a tight nod, she allowed him to pull her to her feet and lead her down the many identical halls until they reached the bunker that housed the officers quarters. They passed dozens of small doors, all of them concealing rooms no bigger than closets. These rooms made the Inn they'd stayed at look like paradise.

When they were inside his room, the silence between them grew into something physical and heavy. He watched her as she slowly kicked off her boots and perched uncertainly on the edge of the bed. He wanted to say something. Anything to break the tension between them. To set her at ease. But, he could think of nothing. So, he went to the hard bench beneath the tiny rectangle meant to be a window. "I'll wake you when it's time to leave. Get some sleep."

"You too." She said softly before she curled up in his bed.

He switched off the light and went back to the bench, trying hard not to watch her like some creepy stalker. His face was set in concentration. Jyn Erso was a new kind of trouble that he really had no idea how to manage. She wasn't a threat he could simply neutralize, nor was she an ally—not really. She was a ticking bomb and he needed to learn how to diffuse her. To draw out the girl he'd known for one night. And if that wasn't possible, he needed to find a way to guard his heart against her. Anything he cared about was a weakness that could be used against him. He could not afford weaknesses—not with entire planets at stake.


	3. No Grave Can Hold My Body Down

He was gone when she awoke a few hours later. Probably seeing to preparations, she thought. She was glad he wasn't there. She wasn't sure what to say to him or how to act. They made an unspoken truce to forget that night but it was still hard to be around him without feeling exposed somehow. Did he feel that too? Is that why he took pity on her and gave her his bed?

What she needed to do was stop obsessing about it. They were adults. And they'd had sex. Lots of people do that without forming relationships after. What happened between them meant nothing. He probably did it all the time. He probably barely remembered that night, drunk as he was. If he knew how much she'd been obsessing over it, he'd probably never speak to her again. His eyes would glaze over with that fear that overtakes men when they feel a relationship attaching itself to them, digging its claws into their hearts and cutting off all their freedom...at least, that's the way Saw described such things.

Maker, what was the matter with her? She didn't need anyone. She was Jyn--kriffing--Erso, rebel, warrior, lone wolf.

With that in mind, she pushed off the light sheet, that vaguely smelled of peppermint and engine oil, and climbed out of his very comfortable bed. Really, it wasn't fair that she'd been sleeping on floors and metal cots all her life when beds this comfortable existed.

His room was barren save for a few essentials, a dresser, which, as she perused the drawers she discovered was full of neatly folded shirts and fatigues. A chest with quite a collection of weaponry, including a blaster or two. She decided to take one for the trip—he'd never know. And that's where her search of his room ended. There was just not much to see. Cassian Andor was a private person apparently. The bathroom door caught her eye. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a decent wash—and he had a working refresher just a few feet away.

She couldn't resist. She folded her clothes in a neat pile beside the 'fresher door, tucking the blaster beneath the pile and climbed into the hot spray. It was the most glorious thing she'd experienced since Corulag—and there went her mind again returning to distracted thoughts of him. An ache began between her thighs just thinking about that night. An ache that would have to go unsatisfied, pressed for time as she was. The last thing she needed was him coming back to his room and hearing her moaning his name through the 'fresher door.

This mission was going to be the death of her and she knew it.

She could've stayed in there all day but, she needed to get dressed. There was a mission to complete. Not to mention that she really didn't want Cassian to find her making herself at home. She had an image to uphold. Jyn Erso—hardened criminal—did not just help herself to strangers' beds and showers, both in one day.

She dressed and stole a towel to dry her hair. She padded out of the bathroom, still wringing her dark hair and found Cassian perched on the edge of the bed. There was a canvas bag beside him and in his hands was a blaster which he was loading and calibrating.

"Good shower?" He said without looking up at her.

Her cheeks burned.  _Not good enough._ She quickly tossed the towel back in the bathroom and raked her fingers through her damp waves. "I did. Thank you. I hope you don't mind I—" she gave a vague wave toward the bathroom door.

"I'm glad you bathed. This trip will be much more pleasant with you not smelling like a prison camp."

Her lips thinned into an angry line. She wanted to slap him but she settled for clenching her fists at her sides. He was trying to bait her and she wouldn't rise to it. She couldn't let him think he had any power over her. "I'm surprised you could even smell me over yourself." That was weak even for her.

He finally raised his head and shot her an expression that said, "Is that really the best you've got?" Out loud he said, "Put the blaster back where you found it."

Her eyes widened. "I will need to defend myself if I'm going to be any use to you." She countered doing her best to draw her self up and appear commanding. "Trust goes both ways." She added softly.

Their eyes locked. He was all intelligence officer, cold, giving nothing away. She felt herself shrink a bit under that stare, worried, not for the first time, that she had pushed him too far. Finally, he gave a curt nod and rose from the bed. He slung the duffel over his shoulder and said, "Come on. The shuttle's waiting for us."

They stepped into the hall together and strode side by side toward the shuttle bay, both casting glances at the other when they thought they weren't looking.

* * *

General Draven loomed in the security office behind a very nervous technician. His arms were folded across his chest and his eyes honed on the video feeds before him. He could tell in the war room that something was going on between Andor and Erso and that suspicion had been confirmed just now when he'd seen them walk out of Andor's quarters together.

He grimaced. Andor was one of his best officers. He'd been in the fight longer than Draven himself and he never compromised himself or the mission. It was out of character for him to do so now…and over this slip of a girl from the dregs? Clearly, Erso was dangerous. Who could say what dammage she'd do while they were alone together on this mission. She'd fill his head with lies and fantasies.

A wedge needed to be driven between them in order to find out where Andor's loyalties truly lie. And Draven was just the man to drive that wedge. It was a hidden talkent of his, actually.

His mind had already calculated the perfect solution before he raced out of the security office and caught up with them on the tarmac.

"Andor." He called. The Captain froze, craning his head around to the General. "A word."

Andor shot a look at Erso. She nodded and made her way onto the ship. Andor watched her until she was out of sight and then came back to Draven. "Sir." He said.

Draven stared him down. "I want to emphasize something about Galen Erso. There will be no extraction." He waited for the words to sink in.

Captain Andor had the wherewithal to look only slightly crestfallen. "Understood." Andor's voice was resolved but that same resolve did not carry through to his eyes. those dark eyes were haunted, full of more genuine emotion than Draven ever remembered seeing there.

"See that it is." Draven emphasized with a knowing stare at the ramp where Erso had stood only moments before. The Captain followed the General's stare and let out a breath. "Dismissed, Captain."

Andor nodded and walked away, joining the girl on the shuttle. Draven was pleased with the ultimatum. He knew it bothered Andor, but he also knew that Andor would follow his orders to the letter, no matter what. He didn't become the youngest Captain in the resistance for nothing.

In a few days time, the Alliance would be rid of more than one problem.

* * *

Cassian stepped onto the shuttle in time to hear the tail-end of whatever conversation had been going on between his co-pilot and Jyn Erso.

"I think it is a bad idea, you coming on this mission. Cassian does too."

"I remember you. You "rescued" me." Jyn growled.

Cassian made his presence known. K2 turned his mechanical head to his Captain. "She took one of your blasters, she's hiding it in her belt."

"I know." Cassian said, taking his seat.

"You're letting her keep it?" K2 sounded awestruck. Cassian hoped that Jyn didn't hear the disbelief in the robot's voice and realize the exception he'd made for her when he gave her the gun. He glanced nervously around the cockpit and found, much to his relief, that she was already gone.

He relaxed and refocused on getting the mission underway and the ship in the air. He could sense K2's distress, it was quite literally radiating heat waves off his metal body. "Leave it, Kay." Cassian growled.

K2 somehow managed to look chagrinned despite his lack of facial expression. "Do you know the probability of her using it against you?"

"No." Cassian set the shuttle in motion. "Nor do I want to know."

"It's high." Kay flicked a few switches, "It's very high."

With that, they were off to Jedha. Off to the pilot and Saw and Force knew what else. Cassian couldn't pretend he wasn't a bit apprehensive about this whole mission...especially the part that involved murdering Jyn's father. Yes, that part was especially troubling.

Once their course was set, Cassian let K2 take over and wandered into the main hull. Jyn was there, pacing like a caged predator. Cassian leaned against the wall watching her. He hadn't really watched her much the night they met. He _thought_ he had, but he'd been more drunk than he realized. How could he have missed that freedom in her eyes or the raw power in her small frame? If he let himself, he could easily underestimate Jyn Erso...and that, he knew, would be a dangerous mistake.

"It's not polite to stare." She grumbled earning a half-smile from him.

"What happened in Corulag?" He had been dying to know how she'd gone from his bed to Wobani Prison. He'd read the charges but not the story behind them.

Jyn tensed at the mention of Corulag, "We met...and we fu-"

"Not that part." He said, furiously fighting the heat rising in his cheeks. "How did you go from that night to prison?"

She gave an exasperated sigh and said, "I was sold out by someone I was working with to steal the Corulaggian dictator's guns and blow up his ship."

"Naturally," said Cassian now smiling at the image in his head of Jyn sprinting full-force away from an explosion, grinning like a madwoman.

"Why were you there?" She asked quietly, "I remember some nasty looking bruises."

His mouth went dry. She'd seen bruises…because she'd seen him. All of him. Not just physically...he'd shown her something of himself that night that he didn't show many people. "About the same as you…I was sold out, had to fight my way out of an ambush. Killed a few people in the process…people that didn't deserve it." He trailed off and they stood there in awkward silence. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry for some reason, but he didn't know for what, only that he was. He was sorry for killing those people, even though it shouldn't matter to her either way, even though the mission required it, even though he'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Jyn crossed to the ladder that led to the upper compartment. "Find me when we reach Jedha." She said before she disappeared. He took that as his dismissal and rejoined K2 in the cockpit.

"You don't seem to be yourself, Cassian. My analysis suggests that Jyn Erso is the root cause."

Cassian groaned. "Enough, Kay."

Could he never escape her?


	4. About what my hands and my body done...

It was around the time that Cassian Andor found himself trapped in a small cell occupied by a blind monk and his stoic sentinel that he decided that things on Jedha had not gone exactly according to plan. His cellmates looked content to lurk in the corner, one of them chanting muffled prayers ( _I am one with the force_ ). The other glaring at nothing in particular.

Not Cassian. He paced until he'd worn trenches in the dirt floor because he'd have traded them both for one small, mouthy brunette.

Every so often he'd stop pacing and go to the bars to yell out, "Hey! Jyn Erso! Where is she?"

He mentally scolded himself. Hadn't he reminded himself already that he had to guard his heart against her? If she became his weakness, he could be taken advantage of…and here he was yelling it out for all to hear. Reckless, Andor. Stupid and reckless.

"You pray?" It was Chirrut's partner who spoke.

"Pray I can reach that control panel," Cassian said still eyeing the thing through the bars. It was going to be their way out as soon as he could find a way to reach it unnoticed.

Chirrut stopped chanting and fixed his cloudy eyes on Cassian, "It bothers him because he knows it's possible." The other man laughed and Chirrut continued, "Baze Malbus was once the most devoted Guardian of us all."

Cassian studied the two men, noting the proximity they maintained in relation to each other. "Now, he's just your guardian?" Cassian asked. Neither answered until Cassian continued, "Why did you save us?"

They'd had every chance to walk away, to avoid this cell. Instead, they'd stepped in.

"Maybe we only saved her," Chirrut responded with a knowing smirk before going back to his chant.  _I am one with the force._

Cassian frowned, "I'm beginning to think the Force and I have different priorities."

Chirrut paused, "Oh, Captain, I think that is the opposite of truth."

This time, Baze also snorted what might have been a laugh. Cassian glowered and returned to the bars to listen for any signs of Jyn. He told himself it was professional concern. She was part of his crew for now and he ensured his crew's safety—not true, but the lie was almost convincing.

It was some while later when Cassian, at last, realized that there was an occupied cell beside theirs. The realization came just in time for him to narrowly intercept Baze's attempt to kill their neighbor.

"Are you the pilot?" Cassian asked through the bars. He cringed at the sight of him—filthy and battered—his stomach clenched in worry that Jyn might be in a similar state by now. Professional concern. "Hey, hey—are you the pilot? The shuttle pilot?"

The man gave an indiscernible groan.

"What's wrong with him?" Chirrut asked.

After a bit more back and forth Cassian determined that he was, in fact, looking at Bodhi Rook and that Bodhi Rook was broken. How broken remained to be seen.

* * *

Jyn was vaguely aware of the ground rumbling beneath her feet…of the air coming to life with screams but she couldn't react to it. Her mind flooded with memories of her father, the man she'd inked out of her thoughts so long ago.

Then, there were hands, insistent and gentle at the same time, pulling her up. A familiar voice shouting her name like a prayer, "Jyn! Jyn! Get up!"

She was vaguely aware of Saw, somewhere in her orbit, telling her to go, to let herself be rescued. Suddenly, fingers tilted her chin and there were brown eyes, round, intelligent and something else—pleading?

"Cassian." It was less that she was talking to him and more that her mind was identifying whose voice, whose hands, whose eyes.

Then, they were running, him practically dragging her. The last thing in her ears before the blast was Saw's yelled, "Save the rebellion! Save the dream!"

Then, they were on the U-wing and the sky was falling all around them. Survival instincts kicked in and she scrambled for a jumpseat to strap herself to as the ship pitched. She felt it when the ship made the jump, felt it when they were out and safe and alive and together. The others exchanged haunted glances— three men, one whom she didn't know.

She didn't know what each of them left behind in the ashes of Jedha, but she knew one thing. She'd just been orphaned…again.

Her mind struggled with the new information. Saw—surrogate father— dead. Galen—biological father—alive. Everything she thought she knew about Galen had been wrong. Her entire life had been based on false assumptions.

Unconsciously, her eyes found Cassian, and tracked him as he moved about the ship. First, he spoke into the comm, then he checked in with K2.

"Eadu." he said.

Her father was there, she knew it. Why else would they be going there? She asked Cassian as much and confirmed her theory which sparked recognition in the long-haired pilot. Pilot, her mind worked to fit more pieces. Imperial pilot. He carried the message. Saw showed her the message. The message shattered everything.

"You're Galen's daughter?"

"Yes," she said, though she wasn't sure that was the right answer at all.

Bodhi talked to her for a minute about Galen and his urging the pilot to do the right thing but Bodhi's singing her father's praises fell flat in her ears. Her father was a bastard. Wasn't he?

The image of Saw shouting  _"Save the dream,"_ flitted through her mind.

That dream was in her hands now...and she needed to do it, to save it. If not for Galen, then for Saw.

Suddenly her voice was silencing them all. "We can beat the people who did this." All eyes turned to her. Chirrut. Base. Bohdi. Finally, Cassian. She got to her feet. "I've seen the message. They call it the Death Star—and there is a way to defeat it." She rounded on Cassian. Above all, she needed him to understand. She trusted that he would. "You are wrong about my father. He's not working for the Empire."

"He built them a planet killer. If that's not working for them I don't—" Cassian was in Spy mode again, unreachable.

"He knew they would build it with or without him…but he also knew that if he was there, doing the work, he could find a way to destroy it. That's why he sent Bodhi."

"So, where is this message." Cassian was closer to her now, intimidatingly so.

"Where do you think." She tried not to look away from him, not to back down. "Everything happened so fast…"

He shook his head in exasperation and turned away.

Her fists clenched so hard she could feel her nails making half-moons in her skin, "You don't believe me? After everything…" He wouldn't turn. "Jeron." She spat, and he froze. She was aware of the others watching them, but she didn't care. She broke their unspoken agreement but she needed him on her side. She needed him to see. "I saw the message." She repeated.

"I believe you, for what it's worth." Said Chirrut.

Great. So, the blind monk could see…but Cassian couldn't. Her eyes pleaded with his but he didn't relent.

He said, "I'm not the one you have to convince." It was almost a whisper and with that, he turned to the cockpit. Jyn caught his arm, stopping him from walking away from the fight, while the others looked on in tense silence.

"My father said we can find the plans," Jyn said. "They are in a data vault on Scarif. Tell the alliance they have to go to Scarif to get the plans. Tell them."

He finally faced her. "I can't risk sending that. Even if it's true, we're in the heart of Imperial territory. If the message were intercepted…" he trailed off but Jyn understood. Then, his cold mask slipped. It was so fast, she might have blinked and missed it. He ghosted the back of his hand down her cheek and said, "We will find your father and bring him back to Yavin. He can tell the Alliance himself. If they believe him then, they will decide what to do. It's the best I can offer."

She had no response. She wasn't even sure she wanted to see her father. How could she face him? How could she admit what she'd become? The moment was shattered by K2 shouting from the cockpit, "Cassian, if you are done touching Jyn Erso's face, you are needed in here." Jyn ducked her head and went to sit with the others as Cassian huffed and retreated to his droid.

Bodhi avoided looking at her, he seemed almost embarrassed. Chirrut, who couldn't have seen anything between them, smiled at her and Baze watched, ever silent.

"Captain doesn't have very good social skills does he?"

"His best friend is a droid." She said by way of an answer.

* * *

Cassian sighed at the console. What had he done? He clearly hadn't followed his own advice…he'd let Jyn in and now his fate was in her hands. Her tiny but powerful hands. Truthfully, he did believe her. He believed that she'd seen the message and that the message had been Galen Erso describing a trap he'd laid in the Death Star. He wanted to believe it for her sake.

He did not, however, believe Galen Erso. The most likely explanation was that this pilot, this message and this "trap" were all part of an elaborate scheme to draw the Alliance to their deaths. Galen had worked with Krennic and the others all his life. There was no way he wasn't compromised.

But Jyn was acting on blind faith and misplaced hope. She'd been an orphan all her life and suddenly—her father reemerged, playing the part of the martyr, and she had fallen for it —hard. She was too close to see it and he couldn't fault her for that. But he could protect her from it. He was damn sure going to try.

Cassian hadn't survived this long on hope and faith. He couldn't let himself believe  Galen Erso's tale. Not yet. Not without proof. He thought of Draven's words on the tarmac, "There will be no extraction."

Cassian pondered this. He imagined a thousand ways Eadu might play out and there wasn't one in which he actually killed Galen Erso. He couldn't say the exact moment that killing Jyn's father had become off limits—but it had. So, he'd capture Erso. He'd bring him back to Yavin and leave him at the mercy of the Alliance. Draven would be angry but he'd get over it. Galen would still be in their possession one way or another…and if there was a chance, some small, small chance that Jyn was right about him. They'd find out.

* * *

Crashing a ship had not been on the itinerary and once again, just like Jedha, Cassian Andor got the feeling that things on Eadu had not gone according to plan. He barked out his orders to an unresponsive group.

Bodhi nodded slowly, Baze and Chirrut smiled secretly as if they found his grappling for some semblance of control amusing. As for Jyn, she watched him warily. The exhaustion had returned to her. She looked fragile now, not at all like the girl he'd seen level a battlefield in the Holy City. He wanted to take her in his arms and promise her that it would be alright, that Galen would leave Eadu alive (in chains) but alive…but he couldn't do that. Not in front of these strangers. Not yet. Never in his life had he felt so restricted. As if each moment brought another desire for things he couldn't do.

"I'm coming with you." Jyn said following him to the ramp.

"No, you're not." He ignored the glare that followed and slung his blaster strap over his shoulder, waving Bodhi to follow.

"He's my father, Cassian."

He rounded on her, "You are the messenger, we need you safe." _I need you safe._ "I can't do my job with you running around being your reckless self. We are just looking for now. We aren't ready to do anything. Stay here with Baze, Chirrut and K2. Protect the ship." He reached out and squeezed her arm because it was the one thing he  _could_ do. It felt about as platonic as any gesture could get so, he didn't suspect the others would read into it too much.

Jyn shook him off, peering angrily thought narrowed eyes. "Protect the broken ship that is now "scrap" in your own words?" She sulked away to pout in the corner. Pout and plot, he surmised.

Cassian stepped close to Baze and Chirrut, and said, "Don't let her out of your sight." He hoped it was quiet enough that she hadn't heard.

Chirrut smiled again, which seemed to be the perpetual state of his face. "Tell her the truth and she won't argue with you nearly as much."

Cassian reeled back, brow furrowed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Baze laughed. "I like you people."


	5. If the Lord Don't Forgive Me

It was only moments after the Captain and the pilot disappeared into the cold, wet rain that Jyn followed. Baze wasn't surprised by this, nor was he overly concerned—though he knew the Captain wouldn't be too happy about it.

They were an odd pair. Both headstrong and opinionated. Both unwilling to admit that they were forever and unalterably bound. He'd spent all of six hours with them and he saw it. He saw the way the Captain had to touch her and was always finding reasons to do so. The way Jyn's eyes lingered on him even when she didn't mean for them to.

Baze looked at his own partner. Chirrut had whispered his suspicions about Jyn and Andor and the nature of their relationship back in the cell in Jedha. The air around the Captain had practically crackled with his distress at being separated from this, Jyn that he called for. He paced the cell like a wild animal, derranged at being taken from his mate.

The best part was they were both in denial...which would make for an entertaining mission, to say the least.

Chirrut stood suddenly. "Where are you going?" Baze demanded.

"I am following her. Her path is clear."

"Good luck." Baze refused to budge. He was quite comfortable here on the dry, dry ship.

But when Chirrut paused and said, "I don't need luck. I have you." He had no choice but to follow.

And he did without _too much_ complaint.

* * *

Cassian looked through the scope at the man who Bodhi singled out as Galen Erso. Had he not been so on edge, he wouldn't have needed the pilot to tell him which one he was. He had her eyes. Jyn's eyes. He had her spirit too, and that didn't comfort Cassian. The last thing he wanted to manage was two Ersos on one shuttle.

"How are we going to get to him?" Bodhi said.

"I don't know. I'm thinking." Cassian spat. "I didn't plan on walking into a showdown."

Above them, the air on the platform was tense. Clearly, something was going down between Galen and Krennic. Maybe Jyn hadn't been so wrong. Krennic didn't look pleased. "We will have to find a way in unnoticed."

"There's only the main entrance."

"There has to be another way." Cassian pressed his eye again to the scope and saw something that made his heart stop in his chest.

Jyn. Hauling herself up onto the platform.

Dammit, he cursed.

He tossed the scope to the ground and launched himself over the rain-slick rock they were hiding behind completely forgetting about Bodhi in his haste to get to Jyn.

"Where are you going?" Bodhi shouted through the rain, "I thought we were only looking."

Before Cassian could answer, his comlink buzzed and K2's voice said, "Cassian can you hear me?"

He barely could over the rain.

"I'm here."

"We have a problem!" K2 sounded panicked, "There's an alliance squadron approaching. Clear the area."

"No, no, no. Tell them to hold up! Jyn's on that platform!" Cassian turned panicked eyes to Bodhi, "How fast can you get to the ship hangar?"

"Few minutes."

"Go." Cassian shouted, "Get there, get a ship, get the others. Comm me when you are ready."

Bodhi blinked, not quite following Cassian's plan. "Ready for what?"

"For us to grab Erso and jump on board."

"Good luck, Captain." Bodhi said, "Keep her safe." And then he was plodding through the mud.

"I'm trying." Cassian said under his breath, already taking off at a sprint toward the tower.

* * *

Jyn hadn't been expecting the attack, hadn't had time to brace herself for it. So, when the first reign of fire came down from the rebel ships, she'd been knocked back, thudding against the platform floor with enough force to knock the air from her lungs.

By the time she recovered enough to stand, she was staring at a battle in progress. Men in Imperial uniforms were already strewn about…and her father. Where was her father? She staggered through the carnage, seeking her father's form. Finally, she found him, on his back, blood pooling around his body. No. No. No. Not now.

She flew to him and cradled his head in her lap. His breathing was labored but his pulse was steady. His injury was just to the left of his heart—not immediately fatal, but he would never make it off the platform in this state. Not on his own two feet.

"Jyn?" He managed. "Stardust?"

She nodded, tears forming in her eyes, mingling with the rain. He looked exactly as she remembered if a bit tired. He raised a shaking hand to her cheek and she held it there. There would be time later for retribution but now, she would bask in relief that he was alive and he was not a traitor. She'd never been so glad to be wrong.

"Papa, we have to get you up. We can get out of here."

"Jyn, go. Someone has to destroy it…I won't make it."

"Don't say that. You will."

Suddenly, Cassian was there, just like Jedha. He came for her. Again.

"Jyn!" He collapsed to his knees beside her. His fingers sought her arm as if he needed to touch her, needed proof that she was there. "You're alive. We have to go." He lifted his wrist and barked into his comm, "I have her, come get us."

He had a plan. Jyn gazed at him with fondness. Cassian had a plan because that was who Cassian was. It was _what_ he was. Jyn didn't waste time. "Help me get him up."

* * *

Cassian nodded and slipped one of Galen's arms around his shoulder. They limped toward the east side of the platform where Bodhi's stolen ship soon emerged and then the stormtroopers were upon them. Cassian took aim as best as he could with one arm. The ship's ramp lowered and Jyn jumped on dragging Galen and leaving Cassian to hold off the fire. A blast connected with his shoulder, knocking his rifle from his hand. He dove onto the ramp and scrambled up shouting at Bodhi to get them out.

He stood, ignoring Jyn and her father, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. "Where are Chirrut and Baze? K! Where are they?"

"They left. I told them we'd leave without them and they still left." He yelled back from the cockpit.

Cassian ran to the cockpit, gazing out at the canyon floor whizzing by. "Slow down….There."

Chirrut and Base were in the center of the canyon squaring off against a TIE fighter. Cassian watched in disbelief as Chirrut dispatched the TIE fighter using only his light bow and then they were also scrambling up the ramp.

The ship sped off and Cassian eyed Chirrut with new found appreciation. "I can't believe I just watched you take out a TIE fighter with that thing."

"Cassian, focus." Jyn yelled from the floor. "Get a medkit."

Galen. Galen was bleeding out. He got the medkit and rooted for a bacta patch. Relieved when he found several. Baze had taken over for Jyn. He ripped Galen's uniform coat open in search of the chest wound. Jyn, for her part, gripped her father's hand while she chanted some inaudible prayer and rocked back and forth. It was the worst he'd seen her since Jedha…and he couldn't help but think it was somehow his fault.

* * *

Jyn watched her father's chest rise and fall. They'd gotten him stabilized but he'd fallen unconscious from blood loss. She became vaguely aware of the cold, wet clothes clinging to her body. But the forefront of her mind was devoted to two thoughts.

Her father was alive.

Cassian had betrayed her.

"Jyn. You're wet. You'll catch a cold. You should change."

Speaking of Cassian.

"You lied to me." She said raising her eyes to him took more effort than she'd expected. She remembered his eyes from that night in the bar. They'd seemed so deep and mysterious…but now she could read them, clear as a book. He wasn't even going to hide it.

"You're in shock." He said calmly, keeping his eyes locked on hers. His lips were set in a frown. His entire face cold and detached.

"You went up there to kill him."

"No." His eyes flashed. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Deny it." She snapped. She rose so that they were toe to toe, breath mingling.

Briefly, his eyes swept over the others, all of whom fixed accusatory stares at the Captain. His focus came back to her and he said, "My orders were to kill your father. You are right about that."

Baze let out a disgusted snort. Cassian shot him a glare and continued, "But I wasn't going to do it. I would never have done it."

Jyn shook her head, "Alliance star fighters didn't come to Eadu by coincidence."

"I tried to call them off! That was all Draven." He said, voice rising in volume.

Jyn matched it, "Why didn't you tell me the truth from the beginning? If you weren't going to carry out your orders then why lie about it?"

"Because you didn't need to know." He spat back. "He's alive isn't he?" He directed the question at the group, in search of sympathy that wouldn't come. "Isn't he?"

"No thanks to you." She said quietly. She retreated a step. She was uninterested in any more excuses he might give but he didn't let her leave. He gripped her by the biceps, not hard enough to hurt or even be forceful, but enough that her attention was on him alone.

"Yes, entirely thanks to me." He said, "I got us all out of there! I didn't do it for the Alliance. I did it for you...because somewhere between that night and now, I started caring about you. I didn't want to and Force knows it has only brought me trouble." He began pacing and Jyn watched yet another version of this man emerge.

There had been stranger and lover and spy, even friend for a moment but this was a warrior, ready to take down anything in his way.

"I disobeyed orders for you and you have no idea what that cost me. I'm not even sure that _I_ know what that will cost me when we get back to Base." His chest deflated slightly and his voice came out quieter but no less intense, "I've been in this fight since I was six years old. I lost everything—and I did what I did to make sure that you wouldn't live to say the same thing."

Jyn had no answer for that. She remembered her tirade after Jedha. Cassian had told her that he believed her. She hadn't believed him. Maybe it didn't matter if he'd believed her or not. He wasn't doing the right thing because of his belief in the cause. He was doing the right thing because of her. She had never been anyone's reason-she wasn't sure she could be his.

In the silence, Cassian rounded on the group, "Anyone else?"

No one moved.

Jyn approached him slowly not wanting to incur another outburst. "Cassian," she said his name softly, "You're bleeding."

He looked like someone had slapped him across the face. It wasn't what he'd expected her to say. He glanced at his bicep and the huge crimson stain spreading down his arm. "It's nothing." He turned and went up the ladder to the upper cabin.

Jyn grabbed the medkit and followed. He sat with his back to the shuttle wall, his head in his hands. He looked so broken, and she knew it was all because of her. She shook her head, hating him for doing this to her. _Cassian, how could you? You weren't supposed to care. One night. Only One._ She had tried not to think about what she did or did not feel for him—and it had been easy to ignore with Saw and then, her father.

All she knew was that it hurt. When she'd thought that Cassian had betrayed her it had ripped a hole right through her heart. What that meant about their relationship, she didn't know. She wasn't ready to know.

Jyn dropped to her knees beside him. She reached her hands toward his, coaxing his fingers out of his hair. "Let me help you."

He swatted her hands away. "Don't, Jyn. Just don't."

She reached again, "I haven't forgiven you. I'm still angry that you lied to me…but I understand why you did it…and I will forgive you, eventually. But I can't forgive you if you die—so let me help you."

"My injury is hardly fatal." He said with the smallest hint of a smile. He raised his head to meet her gaze.

Jyn took that as a concession and reached out to push his jacket off his shoulders. His eyes burned into her, unblinking, as the wet jacket revealed his shoulders and arms, covered still by his soaked shirt that clung too well to his skin. She forgot her task, content to watch the way his muscles shifted under the almost see-through fabric. She remembered those arms, and the way they'd felt locked around her hips, keeping her anchored against the wall.

He finished removing the jacket and cast it aside. She shook herself out of her thoughts. Her fingers found the top button of his shirt, just below his adams apple. He stilled. His hands closed over hers. His hands were warm, despite the rain chill of the rest of his skin.

But he pulled her hands away. He didn't say anything but she understood. This was too close. Too like that night. Too soon.

She looked away while he unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and when she turned back, he was bare from the waist up. She forced her eyes to see only the wound, and not the expanse of muscled, tanned skin now on display.

The wound was bad but, as he said, not fatal. The bruises she remembered had healed and new ones took their place. Someday she would ask him about the scars and the stories behind them. She paused...someday she would ask him implied that she would be close enough to see them again. Not thinking about that yet.

She opened a bacta patch. "This will sting." She said.

"I know." He smiled. "I have had the odd injury or two."

"Smartass." She slapped the patch on. Enjoying his flinch in response.

"Son of a Bantha!" He hissed and let out a few words in a language she didn't understand, but it passed quickly. His back sagged against the ship wall. Jyn sat back slightly, unsure what to say, what to do. She didn't seem to be able to do much thinking of any kind when he was this near and this naked.

Cassian was the one to break the silence this time, "Thank you," was all he said. He didn't look at her as he said it. She wished that he would. Maybe he would see everything she was too afraid to say if he looked.

"Cassian," she pleaded and this time, his head lifted.

His dark eyes were so haunted and his lips slightly parted and she hadn't planned it, but before she could stop herself, she leaned forward and kissed him. She kissed him beacuse there was nothing else to say. Nothing but this. Their lips touched for the first time in weeks and they sighed in unison, all tension gone. Her body sang at being near his once more. All the avoiding, the uncertainty was momentarily suspended because, this, between them, was easy. Everything around them was hard and ugly…but not this.

His hands came up to cradle the back of her neck, anchoring her lips to his. His lips parted, deepening the kiss, exploring her mouth with his tongue. Jyn's mind was filled with him again, but it was different this time.

Instead of whiskey, there was a sweetness and a taste that was entirely Cassian. His unshaven face tickled her skin, his chest was warm against her still wet clothes. Somewhere in her mind, she thought she should fix that…but she couldn't bring herself to care.

His kiss was insistent, as it had been that night, but now there was feeling behind it. They were not strangers. They had been through hell twice together and come out on the other side. He'd come back for her.

As his lips worked against hers, the kiss went from hesitant to hungry. That growing ache between her legs demanded attention. Jyn climbed into his lap, grinding her hips down, hoping to find some small bit of relief. He was hard beneath her and it pressed against that ache, just right. Jyn gasped, threading her fingers in his still wet hair. She rolled her hips again, and this time he gasped too.

The ache now throbbed. How long had it been since Corulag? Too long. 

"Kriff, Jyn. I need you, right now."

His hands fumbled for the zipper of her jacket, yanking it down and tossing it away. She tugged her wet undershirt over her head and finally pressed the skin of her chest back against his. His skin felt cold. So did hers but the blood coursing beneath her skin was warming fast.

His lips left hers and trailed down the column of her neck making her shiver with each new spot he explored. She tilted her head back to give him better access, pressing her covered breasts against his chest, grinding her hips in rhythm with his rapid breaths.

"Cassian." She whispered, her voice heavy.

Then, someone yelled, "Oh ok...not what I was expecting to see" It was Bodhi, he had poked his head through the hatch. His cheeks flaming red with embarrassment as he coughed and looked everywhere but straight ahead, "Captain, the Alliance is on the Commlink--I need.."

"I'll be right there," Cassian growled into the crook of her neck.

"Right. I'll just." Bodhi disappeared and through the hole in the floor they heard, "Well they didn't kill each other."


	6. I'll still have my baby and my babe would have me

Ch 6:

I'll still have my baby and my babe would have me

 

Everyone's eyes were on him when he climbed down the ladder. Cassian did not like being the center of attention. It was what made him such a good spy.

"Do I have something on my face?" He barked at them.

"A mustache and approximately 4.5 days worth of regrowth." Came the robotic answer from the cockpit.

Chirrut chuckled and even Baze quirked a smile. It seemed he was, if not forgiven, at least tolerated. Cassian sighed in defeat. He'd been successfully avoiding social relationships for the best twenty-some-odd years and Jyn just barreled into his life tagging three other people along for the ride.

Whether he liked it or not…he had acquaintances now. A strange sort of crew. Possibly friends but that was too much commitment for now.

He thought of her and smiled, a warmth spreading in his chest that he thought he'd forsaken long ago.

* * *

 It was late as Jyn huddled again by her father's unconscious form. Well, she couldn't tell that it was late but her eyelids were growing heavier by the minute. She'd have fallen asleep if not for Cassian approaching her. She felt him without needing to look up. More alarming than that, she could feel his hesitance.

"Jyn, come with me." He said. "Please."

It was the please that did it. She rose and followed him through the sleeping ship, stifling a yawn.

He led her to the cockpit. "Bodhi, get some sleep. I'll take over." He said.

Bodhi sprang up, he turned and saw Jyn there in the doorway and his cheeks flushed red beneath his dusky skin. Jyn couldn't help but laugh at his clear embarrassment. She leaned slightly closer to Cassian for effect and was pleased when Bodhi scurried faster.

"This could be very fun." She said.

"You're more devious than I gave you credit for." Said Cassian.

"That's is because you underestimate her." Said K2, "I do not. Jyn is statistically more likely to play questionable pranks than you are Cassian."

"On that note." Cassian said, "K, out."

K2 argued but Cassian eventually won, much to the droid's dismay. Then, they were alone…and Jyn wondered where he was going with all this.

"Sit down." He motioned to the pilot's seat.

"There?" She said uncertainly.

He nodded already seated in the K's vacated copilot's seat.

Jyn sat down and looked at the switches and levers before her. When she didn't move, Cassain rose and stood behind her leaning over so that his lips were by her ear, breath caressing her neck. His arms stretched around as if he meant to hug her from behind—or put her in a headlock—one never could be sure with him.

"Put your hands here and here." He directed her to the throttles.

She wrapped her palms around the mechanisms. "What prompted this impromptu lesson?"

His breath tickled her ear. "You said you wanted to fly."

She was suddenly back in the bar on Corulag and she could see every detail of his eyes as he'd asked her, What's _the one thing you've always wanted to do but haven't yet?_

She could smell the whiskey and the peppermint as he leaned toward him.

_Fly._

_And then he'd kissed her._

He remembered.

She found herself smiling so hard her cheeks began to ache. She turned her face to his, which was right beside hers. His eyes were on the viewport, focused on his task. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and he let out a little gasp of surprise. Satisfied, she turned back to the controls.

After a few more instructions he let his arms drop away, instead of guiding hers, his hands found purchase on her hips— and it was all her guiding the shuttle. In that moment, she could no longer ignore her feelings, or avoid thinking about them. He'd said it right—somewhere between that night and now, she'd started to care about him.

She loved that he remembered her desire to fly. That he'd thought of this as a way to fulfill that desire.

She loved that he'd given her this, even if it was all he could offer, it was enough. Just one moment of peace and calm.

She thought again of the night in the bar…I just want to forget, she'd thought…and with Cassian, she had. Now, again, he'd let her forget. She was starting to think it wasn't a coincidence. That maybe he was the answer all along.

"If you're not careful Captain, a girl might just fall for you."

She felt his inhale. "Turn about's fair play." He said, "One eyeful of you wielding a truncheon and I was done for." She knew that he was joking; and that he wasn't.

She leaned back, settling her back against the solid muscle of his chest. "Why Jeron?" She said offhandedly as the stars flew by.

She felt the small chuckle more than heard it. "It's my middle name."

"Cassian Jeron Andor." She said softly.

"Captain." He corrected.

She gently knocked her shoulder against his chest. "Pride doesn't suit you."

He laughed again. "Why Stardust, then?"

"It was my nickname." She tried to tuck away the feelings the name dug up in her. There was the thrill of his accented voice when he said it, the memories of Corulag, but also sadness and wrongness that hadn't altogether faded.

He must have noticed the change because he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up the past."

She shrugged. "The past is bleeding out in the cabin—not your fault."

He said nothing as he rested his chin on her shoulder and let his arms wrap around her middle. They existed for a while in comfortable silence. The weight of his body keeping her grounded to the seat, while the warmth of him pressed against her reminded her that she wasn't alone anymore. Whatever this mission had been at the outset, it had become her personal salvation.

At some point she felt his lips on the side of her neck, his unshaven face teasing at her jaw. She sighed and let him do what he would. "Thank you." She whispered. "For remembering."

"Don't get too excited," he said between kisses, "The auto-steering has been on the whole time."

"Jerk." She laughed as she said it and he stood. The loss of his warmth surprised her. She whipped to face him, afraid she might've upset him…but he wore a lazy smile.

"We are only a few minutes out from Base. Time to wake the others." He dropped one last kiss to the top of her head, "Don't worry Jyn Erso, we will make a pilot of you yet."

* * *

Cassian gathered them all in the cabin as they approached Yavin IV. "Bodhi, Chirrut and Baze, you will all be interviewed by Alliance Intelligence while Jyn and I speak to the council directly. K2, follow the medical team when they take Galen. Stay with him and report back to me."

Baze sneered at that but was settled by Chirrut's hand on his knee. "We will show courtesy as guests in the rebel's home."

Bodhi was only half listening. He couldn't tear his eyes from the viewports as they came into atmosphere. Dozens of starships were speeding alongside them toward the base. More varieties than he'd seen during his entire tenure with the Empire.

He'd never been so overwhelmed in all his life. He found himself crouching at Galen's side. He placed his hand on his savior's shoulder and said, "We did it, Galen!"

Cassian must have heard him because he gave him a tight nod and what might have been a smile. Bodhi smiled back.

"You were his friend," Jyn observed. Bodhi couldn't tell if she was pleased by that. She tilted her head, considering her father's body on the floor.

"I didn't know him very well…but I did like him." Bodhi said.

Jyn shrugged, "You know him better than I do."

Bodhi had to work to keep smiling. A sudden wave of sympathy swept over him followed by gratitude. Galen saved him and brought him to these people. Even Cassian, gruff though he was, was  _his_ now. They were all his. Galen had brought him to salvation and a chance at a life full of love, friendship, and hope. Bodhi prayed Galen would live to have the same.

If nothing else, he clung to those thoughts as he propelled himself down the ramp, into the next chapter.

* * *

Cassian led them off the shuttle and into the hangar. Jyn stayed at his side, matching his strides, but her eyes were on Galen, already being hoisted on a stretcher, K2 tottering after him obediently.

She fought the urge to seek Cassian's hand. In chorus with her thoughts, he whispered, "It will be alright."

They were intercepted at once by a small fleet of Intelligence officers. Some of them smiled in greeting, glad to see Captain Andor returned, others were stoic. They were carried on a wave of flustered handshakes and whispered greetings into the briefing room, which to Jyn didn't look much different from the rest of the dank jungle base.

To say the room was crowded would've been a gross understatement. She was quickly forced to clutch Cassian's hand to keep from being separated by the tide.

Mon Mothma began the meeting, "I want to thank you all for coming…" She continued her opening speech while Cassian whispered into her ear, "Don't let them talk over you. Draven will be angry about your father—I'll call him out on it if I get the chance. It will throw him off and give us a chance to make our point—Jyn, you can do this."

"We believe the Empire has codenamed it the Death Star."

A series of Dravens and other high-ups cam next, discussing the Empire, Jedha, names Jyn didn't know…and then Cassian.

He cleared his throat, retreating behind the mask that she had learned was a far cry from his true self. At first the mask had fooled her, scared her even…but now, it almost made her laugh. He talked about Jedha and Eadu, leaving out…well, most of what happened if she was honest.

By the look on Draven's face, he wasn't buying it. Then, the eyes were on her. Cassian's hand discretely brushed the small of her back, or at least she hoped it was his. She didn't know what they wanted to hear.

She began recanting Jedha and her father's message. "It can be destroyed." She said, "When he wakes you can ask him yourself—not that we have time to wait for that."

New voices took the floor tossing around words like ultimatum and surrender. Jyn felt the hope that had been on a slow burn in her chest practically extinguish. They didn't understand because they hadn't been there in Jedha, hadn't witnessed first hadn't what the Death Star could do.

These people were comfortable.

These people were complacent.

These people were cowards hiding behind a mask of rebellion.

Petty statements were tossed around growing into shouts and swears and threats. Jyn had had enough. "What reason would my father have to lie? What benefit would it bring him?"

Draven was at the forefront, "Your father," He said with more conviction than Jyn felt, "is either an Imperial or a fool. His story could be bait, knowingly or not, to lure our forces into a final battle. To destroy us once and for all."

Had she thought of that? Of course, she had. But she'd dismissed it as impossible. _My father is not a bastard_. "You know the Death Star exists."

"We know a dangerous battle station exists." Draven again, "Able to destroy a city. We have no confirmation of its full capabilities. This is how the Empire has always operated—the gun is less threatening than the lie."

Another man in blue said, "You want us to risk everything—based on what? The testimony of a criminal? The alleged words of her father—an Imperial scientist?"

A new voice, "Don't forget the Imperial pilot."

Jyn found Bodhi in the crowd. He looked like a lamb being brought to slaughter. Who knew it was possible for a man so tall to shrink so much. She tried to pour everything through her eyes. _Please, tell them. Make them see._

"Everything she says is true." His voice cracked on the words but gained strength as he went on, "Galen gave me the message. He told me I could change my story, do right by myself if I got the message to Jyn. If I helped her destroy it…he was risking his life, but he did it anyway. I guess that made me less afraid to do the same."

Force, she could've hugged him and never let go. _Thank you, Bodhi Rook. I won't forget._

"If the Empire has this kind of power…what chance do we have?"

"What _chance_ do we have?" Jyn practically screamed, "The question is what _choice_? You want to run? Hide? Plead for mercy? Scatter your forces?" Her breathing was too fast and loud. She felt her fire dimming again but then she turned her face and saw Cassian.

He was beaming at her, and she thought that no one else had ever _seen_ her the way he did then. No one had looked at what was inside and thought it was beautiful and worthy…and for that she could never repay him…but she would spend her life trying. She turned back to the group at large, "You give way to an enemy this evil with this much power and you condemn the galaxy to an eternity of submission. The empire doesn't care if you surrender. The Empire doesn't care if you're hopeless. I've given up before, and it doesn't help. It doesn't stop." She turned again to Cassian, secretly taking his hand and said, "I've seen people who've lost everything. The time to fight is now."

"What exactly would you have us do?" This from Mon Mothma who was watching her with a gentle, but still chilling smile.

"Send your best troops to Scarif. We need those plans."

"Forgive me…" the man in blue, "But Galen Erso is, in fact, alive…is he not? Why do we need the plans when we have the man who made them?"

Cassian said, "He is in critical condition. _If_ he wakes up, it won't be in time to stop what's already in motion."

"Regardless, I would hear Galen Erso's testimony from his own mouth before we proceed."

Jyn wanted to scream, or break something…possibly both. As the room erupted in chaos anew, she saw Draven pull Cassian aside and whisper to him. When he released Cassian, he was at her side again.

"Draven wants to speak with me in private. I'll catch up with you. Meet me in my quarters. You remember how to get there?"

Jyn nodded. "No. But I'll find my way."

"Good. If I'm not back in a few minutes go there. Gather the others if you can. I want to talk to everyone."

Cassian slipped into the crowd and Jyn was forced out with the rest of the rumbling council.

* * *

Cassian found himself in a private meeting room, hands clasped behind his back, squaring off with Draven, Mon Mothma and Admiral Raddus. He wanted this to be a secret meeting to give him permission to go with Jyn to the fight. Based on their expressions alone, he was not hopeful.

"You believe her story, Captain?" Mon Mothma asked.

"Affirmative." Said Cassian, "I believe that Galen's message was the truth and I witnessed Jedha first hand."

"Did you see the message?" Admiral Raddus asked skeptically.

"No sir."

"So, your assumptions are based off what—a hunch?" Draven stalked closer, circling Cassian like a predator, "I noticed something between you and Erso the moment we brought her here. You are compromised, admit it."

"I don't understand, Sir." Cassian lied, hoping his face hadn't faltered.

"I gave you strict instructions Andor. Find Galen Erso. Terminate Galen Erso. I don't believe screw Galen Erso's daughter was on that list—"

The words were barely in the air before Cassian's fist connected with his superior's jaw. The punch knocked Draven flat on his back—less through force and more because Draven hadn't expected Cassian to attack.

Cassian would've gone after him but he found himself held back by two soldiers. Mon Mothma looked horrified, but not at Cassian.

"Is this true, General?" She asked, "Did you give Captain Andor termination orders against my initial orders to bring Erso in alive?"

Draven picked himself up, glaring at Cassian as he sucked blood from his bottom lip, "Erso is a liability. Both of them need to be silenced."

"If you touch a hair on either of their heads—I will make sure they never find your body." Cassian stepped back, certain he had just stripped himself of his titles.

"Think carefully, Andor." Draven hissed, "Is she really worth your career?"

"Enough!" Mon Mothma shouted. "Captain Andor, you are dismissed. We will discuss your behavior at a later date—when a reckoning isn't upon us. Draven, stay."

Cassian bowed and marched out, his limbs shaking with rage. That rage had come out of nowhere. He'd just attacked his superior officer. What was happening to him? Was Jyn rubbing off on him? Was that a bad thing?

He meant to go find her but he found that his feet carried him instead to the medbay and suddenly he was at Galen's bedside. A medical droid informed him that Galen's vitals were stable and now it was a matter of when or if he would wake up. Cassian sat in the uncomfortable chair against the wall and stared at the man who had set all these events in motion.

How could he have built it? Why? Sure, he might have feared that they would move ahead with or without him…but was it worth sacrificing his family? His life? His soul? Now that Cassian knew Jyn intimately he could say with authority that is was _not_ worth the sacrifice.

She deserved more than that.

She deserved better than what the men in her life had given her…and he was going to break that pattern or die trying.

"She's wonderful…no thanks to you." He heard himself say aloud, "There is this fire in her eyes and it burns everything down. She will stop them. She'll fix what you did…and she shouldn't have to. How could you ask that of her?" His eyes were stinging. He wouldn't allow himself to cry. He hadn't since childhood. But if he'd ever been close to it, this was it.

"She is lucky to have you." The voice startled Cassian so much he briefly thought it was Galen who'd said it…but he lay asleep. It was Chirrut. How the blind holy man had managed to track Cassian down, he didn't know…but there was a lot about Chirrut that Cassian didn't know.

"She deserves better than me. The things I've done—"

"Have led you here. Have given you the knowledge and tools you need to be what she needs. The force works in strange ways, you know."

"Yes, I am beginning to realize that."

Chirrut smiled at some secret thought, then he chuckled. Out loud all he said was, "I can't wait to see their faces."

Cassian got the feeling that Chirrut was a few parsecs short of a light year. "Get Baze, and meet me in my Quarters—it's in the Officer's sector—"

"—We will find it."

"Right. Meet us there." Cassian rose and cast one last glance at Galen. "I hope you are everything she believes you are."

With that, he went to find Jyn.

* * *

 Jyn and Bodhi sat in awkward silence in Cassian's modestly sized quarters. Jyn's head hung in her hands, the weight of defeat like a crushing force on her shoulders. Bodhi wasn't looking much better. K2, for his part, was not silent. (How did you know the entrance code? Only I know Cassian's code).

Jyn sighed in relief when Chirrut and Baze joined them a few minutes later.

"They didn't lock you up?" She asked, "The debrief really was just a debrief?" She hoped it sounded cheerier than it felt.

"You don't look happy," Baze said.

Jyn shook her head, running her hands down her face, "They prefer to surrender."

"And you?" Baze was somber as only he could be. The polar opposite to his partner—or maybe the complementing shade.

"She wants to fight," Chirrut affirmed with a conspiratorial smile.

"So do I." Said Bodhi. "We all do."

"The Force is strong."

Cassian stepped in at that moment, he paused in the doorway and said, "Why do I get the feeling I just walked into an ambush?"

Jyn went to him. She didn't care if it made her look weak. Or if the others saw them. She just needed to know he was still with them. He came back for her.

"What did Draven say?" She asked.

"Nothing worth repeating," Cassian glowered. Chirrut wore a knowing smirk and Jyn was sure that he could read their thoughts. She'd have to question him later.

"Does that mean they're not with us?"

"It means they all want to wait to hear your father's testimony. They think his insight could prevent a suicide mission."

"What do you think?" Baze asked.

Jyn felt Cassian's fingertips brush her cheek in that way that was becoming familiar. "They were never going to believe you. Not the council, not today."

She frowned. That was not what she'd expected from him. "I appreciate the support." She growled folding her arms defensively.

"But I believe you. They believe you." He pointed to their audience and grinned. "Do you all feel like going on a suicide mission?"

They nodded their agreement one by one. All except K-2 who said that they were _100% crazy to agree to such a proposition_ —before he promptly agreed.

Cassian nodded, "Good. Go get some sleep. You'll need it. We will meet in the hangar at 0400. Be packed, armed and ready."

"Um…where should we sleep? We don't have quarters."

"Right." Cassian frowned. Jyn tried to hide her disappointment. She had been hoping for a moment alone with Cassian…that wouldn't be possible with Baze snoring on the rug.

"I can show them to the guest quarters." K-2 piped up.

She and Cassian shared a quick but pining gaze…at least, she thought it was quick until Bodhi said, "Yes! Please, show us before I witness more bits of my friends then I need to see—ever, ever again. Ever."

Jyn's mind stuck on the word. Friends. She smiled…she had friends. Friends, a father…and a Cassian, whatever that meant.

The others said their goodbyes and filed out and they were alone…again. She'd imagined this in her head but now that it was time, she didn't know where to begin. Did Cassian happen to have any whiskey?

She perched on the edge of the bed. "Are we kidding ourselves? We can't pull this off with the five of us—six with K."

He stood before her and tilted her chin up. "Don't worry about that part."

There was more to that sentence but she didn't press it. She found that there were so many things she wanted to ask him. How he felt about that night nearly two months ago now on Corulag. What the kiss on the shuttle had meant to him. If all of this was going somewhere or was it only the convenience of two people with shared suffering, finding comfort in each other?

"I can hear you thinking from here," Cassian said with an amused smile.

"We might not come back...from Scarif."

"Don't talk like that Jyn," He removed his jacket and sat beside her on the edge of the bed. It was awkward now in a way it hadn't been before. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what he wanted. If they had more time...but they didn't.

"You're right," She turned to face him. "If this is all the time we have...we should enjoy it. Here's to pretending...right Jeron?"

His eyes moved over her face for what felt like an eternity. For a brief horrified moment she thought she'd been wrong. Maybe none of it had meant anything to him after all. Maybe she'd been reading into it.

Finally, he said, "I'm not pretending anymore, Jyn."

She didn't have long to ponder it because he scooped her up in his arms and carried her toward the bathroom. She was confused until he reached one to turn on the water and warm up the refresher. He set her gently on the sink counter and stepped between her thighs. Then, he paused, looking into her eyes with that soulful look he got when he meant to ask her something but found that words were not enough.

"Are you with me?" He asked softly.

She didn't trust her voice just then. She gave a mute nod.

His lips claimed hers, fierce and unrelenting. He nipped at her bottom lip with blunt teeth his hands already adeptly working the buttons of her shirt. "I dreamed about you," he murmured against her lips, "after that night."

His hands ghosted up her bare ribs making goosebumps pucker her skin. They traveled up, higher and higher until they settled on her breasts, kneading them. She groaned and clutched him closer. Inhaling him. Smoke, engine oil, peppermint, sweat, rain, Cassian.

She lifted her hips so he could slide her pants down her legs. He pulled her undergarments off with them, leaving her completely exposed. She shivered as the cold air touched her skin when he stepped away to step out of his own clothes. She didn't mover from the countertop. Instead, she watched him undress, marveling at the familiarity of it. He hadn't hesitated this time. He'd taken charge. Shown her that  _he_ wanted this. Cassian...and Jeron...Cassain Jeron Andor wanted Jyn Erso. He wasn't running from it anymore and so, neither would she. "I dreamed of you too."

His hands faltered with the button of his pants. His eyes darkened even more if that were possible. He flicked open the button and sauntered toward her. "What kind of dreams?"

A part of her considered that perhaps she'd dreamed of him before Corulag. That she'd dreamed of him all along. Rather than admit that she said, "I honestly never thought I'd see you again."

He stepped between her legs again, momentarily serious, "And are you glad that you did?"

She gave him a wicked smile and pushed his pants down his hips. She wrapped her hands around him where he stood, hard and proud. "What do you think?"

His lips were on hers and his hands were under her thighs as he carried her into the refresher. If she had to die in the morning she couldn't have imagined a better way to spend her final night. She wasn't sure if the base had rations on water supply but she was sure that they had used them up by the time he spread her thighs and pressed into her. She screamed his name because this time, there was nothing to stop her from doing so. No pretending, no secret identities. No fear. 

Cassian poured his soul into his lovemaking. She knew that she could spend a lifetime like this with him and she would never learn all there was to know. She wished they had a lifetime.

How ironic that her refrain the night they'd met had been: One Night. Only One.

Tonight's was the same: One night. Only One. But it meant something entirely different now. They clutched at each second trying to stretch it into eternity and, for a while, it worked.

Then, they were both panting and shaking and the water had gone cold. They left the shower and tumbled into his bed where he kissed her again and it began anew. This time she flipped them over so she was on top and he was free to explore her with his hands while she rode him with abandon. They made love until the blankets and sheets were a rumpled pile on the floor, and their limbs were entwined so that no one could say where one began and the other ended.

He wrapped her in his arms and sighed in contentment. She toyed with the hair at the base of his neck as they lie together, trying to catch their breath. "I'm not used to people sticking around when things get tough."

He tightened his hold on her, "Welcome home." He said quietly, his voice barely breaking the silence of the room.

And she knew that she was.

"Be careful Cassian Andor, a girl is liable to fall in love with you." She said for the second time that day, though she hadn't used the word love before. She wondered if he'd noticed.

He had.

"Well, she would find that she's not alone in it."


	7. She Never Asked Me Once About the Wrong I Did

Ch 7:

She Never Asked Me Once About the Wrong I Did

Jyn woke to find Cassian already dressed in his heavy combat clothes. He was moving about the room like a silent panther grabbing various weapons. She giggled, witnessing his stealth spy-act first hand. She sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest.

His head snapped to her, "Did I wake you?" Cassian asked, not stopping his packing.

"No." She said. "Well, yes. But I need to get ready anyway."

Cassian cast a sidelong glance at her. "Did you want to go see your father before we leave?" He said it casually but she heard the curiosity underneath.

"No." Her answer came quick. "I can't. Not now. I'll see him when we get back. When he's awake."

Cassian nodded, "I understand. He's stable at least."

"You went to see him?" It really shouldn't have surprised her…Cassian was always doing things that were unexpected.

"Last night. I stopped by." He might as well have shrugged but she could tell he was trying to play it off as nothing—it wasn't nothing.

"So, he's going to be okay?"

"Yeah."

She nodded and climbed out of the bed to get dressed herself. Cassian had scrounged up some clothes for her that were roughly identical to what she'd arrived in. Heavy, battle ready. Cassian leaned against the wall watching her, his face unreadable. They didn't speak about what was to come. When she was ready, they stepped together into the hall and made their way to the hangar. At some point, the others caught up with them. No one looked like they had gotten much sleep.

They walked on, Chirrut's staff clicking in time with their steps. The base was eerily silent considering the influx of people it had experienced the day before.

Jyn was glad when Baze broke the spell.

"So, how are the five of us going to infiltrate an Alliance base?" Baze, ever the optimist.

"Well…" Cassian said, pausing before the hangar entrance. "I may have found some volunteers." He stepped aside revealing dozens of resistance fighters already assembled and waiting by their stolen cargo ship.

Jyn found his eyes and the world fell away. "You did this?"

"Some of us" He began, "Me especially, have done terrible things on behalf of the Rebellion. We're spies. Saboteurs. Assassins…"

Jyn's eyes flicked to her partners and the volunteers, all of whom were hanging on Cassian's every word as if they were witnessing history. Chirrut smiled, his face alight with pride. Baze smiled or grimaced, she couldn't tell. Bodhi grinned. Jyn wanted to shrink back into the shadows where people did not look at her as if she were holding up the stars.

Cassian grabbed her hands, keeping her in the light. "Everything I did," he said, "I did for the Rebellion. And every time I walked away from something I wanted to forget I told myself it was for a cause I believed in. A cause that was worth it. Without that—without a cause—we're lost. The Alliance has lost sight of the true cause. I know I speak for everyone here when I say we couldn't face ourselves if we gave up now. We are with you, Jyn Erso."

Jyn didn't realize she was smiling until it hurt. "How early did you sneak out this morning?"

"It was a busy day." He said. Then, he turned serious again. His hand rose and tucked her hair behind her ear before ghosting down the side of her face. If it bothered him that everyone was watching them, he didn't show it. "I've wanted to forget a lot of things in my life…until this surreal night on Corulag, when I met someone who I never saw coming. Despite my best effort, I couldn't forget her."

K-2 interrupted the staring contest that followed, "There is a 99% chance someone will vomit if you keep that up, Cassian."

The group laughed and the tension finally lifted. "Just kiss her and get on with it. We are on a tight schedule," said Baze.

He did. It was quick and full of everything. The group cheered behind them. Then, he turned back to the group at large, a bit flushed and Jyn couldn't have stopped smiling if she'd wanted to.

"Gear up. Grab anything that's not nailed down." He said. "We don't know what we are walking into and we don't have much time. Go."

As the soldiers scattered, Cassian elbowed K-2. "Remember what we talked about?"

The droid huffed. If he could've rolled his eyes, he would've. He said, "Jyn, I'll be there for you. Cassian said I had to."

She laughed and patted the droid's arm. "That means—something, at least."

"We are not in the casually touching stage of our relationship." Said K, removing his arm from her grasp, and dusting it off with his metal fingers.

Cassian laughed as his pet droid retreated.

Jyn shook her head. "When you reprogrammed him, did you just type: Snark, snark, snark into the code?"

* * *

Bodhi hadn't expected take-off to be easy, but he hadn't expected to have to lie and break every rule just to get off the ground. He winced. These rebels hadn't fully accepted him yet. They tolerated him, at best and he was about to fly a cargo shuttle right through that tolerance. After this, neither side would want him. There might not be an "after this".

"Cargo shuttle, you are not cleared for takeoff." the voice came through the comm, silencing the cockpit.

K-2 looked at him expectantly. Jyn and Cassian watched from the back of the cockpit. With his eyes screwed shut and his face in a wince, he said, "Yes, yes we  _are_  cleared. Affirmative. Requesting recheck. Someone should have authorized it by now."

The line crackled and then the voice said, "What's your call sign?"

Bodhi looked to the others. He swallowed the weird ball of guilt and determination.  _For Galen. For Jyn. For Hope. "_ Callsign Rogue. Rogue One."

He thrust the cargo shuttle into motion, the squeaking of the commlink became a soundtrack in the background. The others' smiles powered his motions, "Rogue One pulling away!" He shouted.

They all cheered. Even the volunteer army in the cargo hold cheered and Bodhi nodded his head. This was what it felt like to do the right thing. It felt good.

* * *

Yavin IV had always seemed a miserable, sticky place to Mon Mothma…but today the walls were sticky with more than humid air. The council was wrong. She knew it but had little power to bring them to heel. If there was a downfall to a senate—this was it.

Bail Organa had taken his leave to Alderaan to warn his people, taking with him her grave warning that genocide and war were inevitable. She thought of Bail's young protege who he would send to make contact with the Jedi.

The girl was so young but capable. Mon Mothma had to believe she was capable. How had they come to this, she wondered? Their fate in the hand's of a woman barely more than a girl, and a Jedi in hiding.

Draven was beside her, sporting a fat lip that he sorely deserved. They shared a look of understanding as they watched the starships departing from the base. This would be the end of the Rebel Alliance.

A lieutenant scurried out of the base shouting for Senator Mothma. She and Draven turned to the man.

"What is it?" She asked, fearing the worst—another planet destroyed; more death.

"It's Captain Andor." Said the nervous man, eyes flickering to the ground. "He, Erso, and about forty-five of our soldiers just took off in a stolen cargo shuttle."

Mon laughed. It must have sounded a maniacal thing because the lieutenant squeaked, "Senator? Are you alright?"

"No, lieutenant. I'm not." She said between fits.

"Damn it," Draven growled, running a hand down his face. "Has Andor lost his sense completely?"

"I don't see how you can be surprised. Erso was on a warpath and Andor's in love, he'll follow her to his death if he has to."

"How romantic." Draven sneered.

The Lieutenant cleared his throat and said, "There is one more thing. Galen Erso is awake…"

Mon Mothma didn't have long to consider her options, not with Jyn Erso half way to Scarif. "I need to speak to Admiral Raddus." She insisted.

"He's already left…he's gone to fight."

Speakers blared announcing the departure of several more squadrons—Blue, Gold, Red, Green. Maybe Jyn Erso's little speech had been more effective than she'd thought. Mon Mothma knew her place, she couldn't get involved in this battle…but with Galen Erso's input she might still contribute.

With a secret smile, she marched toward the medbay.

* * *

Jyn rarely dreamed of the farm and when she did it was of that ugly day that she'd witnessed her mother's death, which is why this dream was particularly troubling. Her mother was in their small kitchen. Alive and smiling. She nearly tripped over Jyn, who was lying on the floor playing. It was cold, but not unpleasantly so, and the air smelled of Jasmine--her mother's favorite flower. She hadn't realized she remembered that.

What an odd addition to the memory bank.

Lyra Erso: moisture farmer, wife, loved Galen, brown hair, smelled of Jasmine, the end.

"I told you not to lie there, Jyn. Your father will blame me for the bruises if I trip over you again."

Jyn sat up, "I'm scared, Mama." She said.

Lyra crouched down before her. "That's normal, darling. It's alright to be afraid."

"What will happen if I can't protect them?"

Lyra smiled and ran her fingers through her daughter's chestnut hair. "Just keep this close and it will protect you both. Remember, the strongest stars have hearts of Kyber." She took a leather lanyard with a crystal pendant and draped over her daughter's neck.

"Is it hard? To be a mama? How did you learn what to say? Does anyone teach you?"

Lyra laughed. "It would be easier if they did." She tipped Jyn's chin up with her fingertips, "It's not hard because you are the best daughter in the whole galaxy."

"I wouldn't be good at it." Jyn said, fingering the necklace.

"You will be a wonderful mother someday, just look how well you take care of your dollies."

"I'm glad you're my mama."

Jyn jolted awake, and she could swear that her kyber crystal was burning a hole through the skin of her chest. Her breath was coming in rapid gasps as she tried to remember where she was. Her body was pressed alongside someone else's. Cassian. His dark eyes were watching her. They were in the cramped cargo hold, soldiers all around.

"You okay?"

She nodded. She smoothed her hands over her hair and touched the lump of the crystal beneath her shirt. "Are we still in hyperspace?"

He nodded, "We will be there in a little under an hour."

"How long was I asleep?"

"Few minutes at most."

Her brow furrowed. It felt like hours.

She glanced at the others, she hadn't learned their names, she didn't want to. Better to be responsible for a dozen nameless entities rather than people with names and lives. Of course, she knew they had come of their own accord…but they were following her. Her hope had wrought this.

Baze and Chirrut were chatting with a few of the volunteers. They looked happy side by side, despite what was to come. Jyn tried to borrow some of Chirrut's blind faith. She thought of her mother's words, of Chirrut's prayers and wondered what exactly the Force was trying to tell her.

"Captain! Jyn!" Bodhi's voice was echoing up the ladder from the cockpit. They exchanged a glance and got to their feet. "You need to see this!"

They climbed up the ladder and looked out the viewport.

"What am I looking at?" Jyn asked.

The ship dropped out of hyperspace and Scarif loomed before them as unforgiving and austere as she imagined it would be. Suddenly another ship materialized beside them and another and another.

"Those are Alliance ships," Cassian said, pointing at the lights.

Bodhi nodded and the Commlink buzzed, "Rogue One, this is Admiral Raddus of the  _Profundity_ , ready and waiting to coordinate attack."

Jyn might have smiled, she might have cried, she felt so many things in that moment that she couldn't categorize each one.

Cassian grabbed the comm, "Rogue One preparing for descent to ground. You have aerial lead  _Profundity_."

"Blue squadron following you to ground." Said Raddus.

Cassian grinned. "Bodhi, get us down there."

Jyn vaguely heard Bodhi begin trading lies with the Scarif control to gain access. K-2 said something about the odds tipping in their favor. Cassian swept her up and spun her in a circle, before burying his face in her neck. The joy was a quick flash. He sobered and they nodded to each other. The battle hadn't even begun and this was hardly a victory. But they weren't alone. The Alliance was here, backing them…and in K-2's words there was only a 48% chance of total annihilation…and that was something.

* * *

 Cassian followed Jyn down the ladder and back into the cargo hold where their army awaited. Sefla approached and declared Jyn a sergeant, which Jyn was thoroughly unimpressed by. Then, it was time for speeches.

Jyn gave a few words and so did he but the most important piece of information was that they were no longer alone. Cassian informed them of the Alliance back-up that had arrived and was currently lying in wait for their signal to charge.

The air in the cargo hold was decidedly brighter as they all went to hide for the inspection that Bodhi had warned them about. Cassian found himself in the cockpit with Jyn's back flat against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, his hands settling on her abdomen. He didn't need to clutch her to him—they were packed in close enough already. He could tell she was nervous but she was handling it well. He could tell though, something in her dream had rattled her.

"What did you dream about?" He asked her under his breath as much to hear the answer as to distract himself from the inspection.

"My mother." She said. "The farm where I almost grew up. Where I would've grown up if…"

"Did something happen in the dream?"

"No." She said, "That's the strange part. Nothing. We just talked…but it was so real."

Their conversation was ended by a muffled cry. He scrambled after her down the ladder to find Bodhi wide-eyed amongst a pile of bodies and Baze smiling like he was about to sit down at a feast. Baze's love for battle should've terrified Cassian more than it did…but on some level he was the same.

"Off to a good start." Jyn deadpanned while the others came out of hiding.

After Baze bid them goodbye with a kind, "Good luck, Little sister." The three of them—he, Jyn, and K-2SO—were in a rail car speeding toward the Citadel.

"Our odds of failure hold steady." Said K-2. "I would like to remind you again of the seven backup tapes I hid in your room Cassian."

Cassian shook his head, amazed once again by the workings of the mind of a droid.

Jyn he'd noticed had been uncharacteristically silent. He tipped her chin up to him finding her eyes haunted and far-away. "What if I can't do this?" She said.

"You're going to do fine." He pulled her to his chest but only for a moment; it was all they could afford. Even K2 allowed it to pass without comment.

Suddenly, the comm on Cassian's wrist beeped and an unfamiliar voice said, "Stardust?"

Cassian peered at the thing, then at Jyn. She moved closer and pulled his wrist within range of her lips, "Papa?" She said, her eyes sparkling with the tears she'd been holding back all this time.

"Mon Mothma told me what you're doing—"

"—I'm sorry, Papa…we had to—"

He cut her off, "—Jyn, we are all with you. But we don't have time…where are you now?"

"In a railcar."

"Good. That's good." His voice sounded labored. Cassian imagined him lying in a the medley, pale and clinging to life, still fighting with his last strength to see his plan executed. He had misjudged Galen Erso.

"We are slowing down." Cassian observed.

"Okay. Look, there is a service elevator. Go left right away and straight down that hall when you get off the car and look for a door with a keypad and a black triangle. The code is 84993. Do you have that."

"84993." K repeated.

The hum of the car died off and the doors shot open. There were stormtroopers, droids of K-2's model, and officers all milling about beneath the artificial lights of the Citadel. They stepped out and veered left, walking with purpose. Only a few feet down they found the door. K-2 typed in the code and the door beeped and opened. They hurried in and shut it behind them.

Cassian was on edge, but just enough to stay alert. Truthfully, there was a small ember of hope bubbling up. He tried to keep it at bay. Hope led to certainty and certainly led to carelessness. A bit of fear was healthy. Still, Galen was in their ear, the Rebel fleet was in the sky, their troops were on the ground. Maybe…

The service elevator was straight ahead. They got in and Galen told them to go to the 40th floor. So, again they were off, up 43 stories of steel and infrastructure.

* * *

 Bodhi wanted to move. He wanted to help. He wanted to hide. He wanted all of those things at once. Instead, he sat in the cockpit beside a man called Tonc, biding his time, feeling guilty and useless and not guilty at the same time.

Maybe he was guilty.

Maybe he was hungry.

Maybe the sky was going to fall down. He couldn't say.

Cassian had been expressly clear. Bodhi was their way out. Bodhi had to stay with the ship. He could not leave until they were all on board or until it was very clear that no one else was coming.

The comm buzzed…Raddus directing his troops.

Bodhi grinned. He had an idea. He tuned to an Alliance frequency. This he could do. This he could control. "Pad two! Pad two! We count forty rebel soldiers running off Pad two!"

Tonc grinned beside him, "Who needs SpecForce? We can do this all by ourselves."

* * *

They were in the shade of the trees when the ships began materializing. X-wings. Baze heard cheers from his comrades as they all began noticing their salvation. If there was a battle going on outside atmosphere, Baze couldn't see it through the haze of smoke and gunfire.

On the ground it raged. They had survived the first wave. The rebels were in a good position, but the Stormtroopers were multiplying. Where one fell five more sprang up. They couldn't hold them off with those odds.

Baze's eyes tracked their origin. They were coming from the barracks. That was where they needed to strike. Cut them off at the source. You didn't kill vine by tearing off its leaves…

Melshi must have arrived at the same conclusion at the same moment. "The barracks." He yelled. "Light them up."

Baze understood in theory but he didn't see how they would get there. They'd never make it through the melee across the beach to even get close enough to the barracks.

Then, he saw more ships arrive. Rebel ships. Baze had an idea. He lumbered off at a run back toward their cargo ship. He thought his luck had run out when a Walker opened fire on him. He aimed his rocket blaster and fired right at the body. His shoulder was nearly wrenched from its socket but the Walker tumbled to the ground, crushing a few Stormtroopers on the way down.

Baze closed the distance to the cargo shuttle where Bodhi was busy misdirecting the Imperial forces.

"Can you talk to the rebels on that thing?"

Bodhi nearly fell out of his chair at Baze's voice. "Yes." He said when he'd recovered.

"Good. Tell them to go for the barracks."

Baze didn't stay to hear him give the orders. He had lost sight of Chirrut and now that the barracks would fall, he had only one priority.

* * *

"You are a terrible spy." Jyn said with more than a little amusement as Cassian slapped the unconscious man's hand on the security lock for the third time.

"It's not working! K?" Cassian shouted.

"Right hand," K repeated.

Cassian switched hands. Finally, the door was open and the vault was before them. It was a massive towering monstrosity. Jyn wondered what the Empire possibly needed with all of these records. Time was on their side, but they still moved with frantic steps. If Krennic knew where they were headed he'd never get here in time. As long as nothing got in their way, they'd have the tape in hand and be on their way out in minutes. K-2 didn't follow them in. Instead, the droid tottered over to the console outside the vault door.

Cassian paused on the threshold to the vault, "What are you doing Kay?" He snapped.

"I'm going to lock into the Alliance feed to see if I can determine their current actions. Go get the tape."

"What is the file called?" Jyn asked.

Her father's voice on Cassian's wrist came back, "Stardust."

Jyn froze.  _My father is not a bastard. My father is a hero._

"Cassian!" K-2 yelled from the console. "We have a problem. They've closed the shield gates."

"We're trapped?" Jyn spun around to face him.

"Not necessarily." Cassian said, he raised his comlink again, "Galen, how do we override the shield?"

"Give the commlink to K." Said Galen. Cassian practically ripped the thing from his wrist and tossed it to the droid, who caught it with eerie precision. Jyn took one of the blasters from her hip and laid it beside K-2's hand.

"Here. Take this, you'll need it. You wanted one right?"

K-2 blinked between his prized blaster and her. "Jyn Erso, your behavior is continually unexpected."

She felt the first flood of fondness for the droid since he'd knocked her on her ass. she spared him a quick smile.

"Papa." She yelled into the comm in K's hand. "We're almost there."

She didn't hear if he responded. She ran to join Cassian in the towering vault. They were separated from the vault proper by a glass pane. Against that pane were what looked like control arm handles and another console. Cassian was already scanning entries in the console in search of Stardust.

"Do you still have the com link I gave you?" He asked once she was beside him.

She nodded.

"Get Bodhi." He said.

Jyn buzzed the pilot while Cassian worked. "Bodhi. Bodhi, can you hear me?"

There was silence on the other end. Her eyes slipped to Cassian. The silence was affecting him too. He was afraid and trying not to show it. She could see it in the pinched set of his shoulders and the thin set of his lips. "Tell me you're out there. Bodhi!"

Moments stretched by. She tried to pray as she'd heard Chirrut do.  _I am one with the Force. The Force is with me._

"I'm here!" Bodhi sounded breathless. Breathless but alive, Jyn thought with relief. "We're standing by but the base is on lock-down!"

"We know." Cassian said, "K-2 is working with Galen to get the shield gate down."

"Galen?"

"Don't ask. Look, we almost have the tape. Start gathering anyone you can. You will have to fly over here and pick us up. The second the shield gate is down we have to get out of here."

"Copy." They heard him whoop! Before the line went dead.

Jyn looked at the vault, rising up at least half a dozen stories. She marveled at the thousands of red lights. One of those lights held the key to their mission. All of this for one little red light.

Footsteps thundered outside the door and suddenly the vault doors clamped shut. Their heads whipped around in tandem. They heard K-2's muffled voice say, "The rebels…they went that way."

Jyn tried not to think about it, not to be distracted. What was happening out there didn't matter.  _Find the tape_. K-2 was working on limited time with the shield gate, Baze and Chirrut were fighting for their lives, Bodhi was on the way--the rest was up to them. They could do this.

Cassian's fingers moved deftly over the console. He muttered to himself in the language he only used when he was in pain...or in the opposite of pain. She grinned at the mental picture that conjured.

"Got it!" He exclaimed.

They watched through the glass as one light, in the vast constellations of the vault, began to blink. Jyn guided the handles, holding her breath as a mechanical arm plucked out the tape connected to the blinking light. The tape dangled there, dozens of stories up, moving achingly slow toward the deposit slot in the glass. It wasn't until she was holding it in her hand that she let out the breath. She stared at the metal box in awe. They did it. All they had to do was get out.

"K?" Cassian shouted. "Open the door. K-2?"

The door whizzed open on command and K-2 stood before them, his head canted to one side. In his hand was a smoking blaster and a pile of stormtroopers at his feet. "I don't know why it took you so long to give me a blaster. I told you I was a good shot."

Jyn could've kissed him.  _Her boys_ , she thought idly.

"Jyn?" Her father's voice on the commlink. K-2 held it out to her.

"I'm here. We've got it." She looked down at the tape in her hands, then at Cassian. "Here. Get Bodhi up here and get this to the Alliance."

Cassian's brow furrowed as she shoved the tape at him. "Jyn—"

She held a finger to his lips. "There's something I have to do. Arguing will only waste time...and we have none."

Cassian took the tape but handed it at once to K-2. "Bodhi," he said into Jyn's comm. "K-2 is on the upper platform with the tape. Get up there." He turned to Jyn. "Whatever it is, I'm with you."

Jyn nodded, she didn't let him see how much that meant to her. Later, when they survived this she would tell him. "Go, K." She ordered. The droid sputtered objections even as he climbed the stairs leading to the door to the platform. Then, into the comm she said, "Papa, if I were Orson Krennic...where would I be?"

* * *

Bodhi swept around the upper platform of the Citadel. K-2 was there as promised, holding a small metal box. Bodhi pulled up beside the bridge and lowered the ramp. Tonc ran back to help the droid in and retrieve the tape.

Bodhi barked into the comm, "K-2 is onboard. Cassian? Jyn? Where are you?"

"Don't wait for us. Get the tape to the alliance." It was Jyn. He wished he could strangle her through the receiver. What could be more important than getting on the ship? "If I don't hear from you in five minutes, I am going in there." It was an empty threat but it was all he could say. He didn't have Cassian's (quite surprising) way with words.

"Strap in." He said to Tonc and the droid currently clutching a metal box like his life depended on it. Bodhi pulled the ship up and swooped toward the beach. Time to find Baze and Chirrut.

* * *

The office where Krennic was reviewing Galen's transcripts communications was just down the hall from the vault. Galen wasn't certain that's where his old coworker would be, but it was his best guess. Jyn had promised that if she didn't find him there, she would leave it alone and run for the ship. Cassian was happy with the compromise. He let Jyn lead, happy to play back-up this time. This was her vendetta. She deserved it.

Jyn paused before the metal door. She took a steadying breath and knocked against the unforgiving steel. Cassian almost laughed. Of course, she knocked.

"I said I wasn't to be disturbed!" They heard a man yell through the closed door and then he was there all in white, towering before them.

Jyn's blaster was already positioned. "Hello Orson," she said, "What was it Lyra used to say…you'll never win?" She waited for the spark of recognition to light his blue eyes before she squeezed the trigger.

To an outsider, it would've been terribly anticlimactic but to Cassian it was the most poetic revenge he'd ever been fortunate enough to witness. In that moment, Jyn was a cold, deadly thing that he barely recognized. Krennic buckled to the ground. The shot she'd fired wasn't immediately fatal, but he didn't have long. The fact that Jyn knew how to do that, to shoot for pain and not just the kill, sent a chill through Cassian. He decided he didn't want to think on it too long. They watched the crimson stain bloom on Krennic's white chest.

"I think my father would like a word," said Jyn. She shoved the comm toward the dying man's face.

"You lose," Galen said. "I built a flaw into the system and the plans are halfway to the rebels by now."

"Erso?" Krennic croaked out, "How?" Then his lips went slack.

"Did you hear that? There is a fuse lying in wait inside your Death Star, and we have everything we need to light it." She turned and stalked away, "Let's get off this hell planet." She said.

Cassian ran after her, trying to stop the trembling in his hands. The Jyn he'd just seen was an unfamiliar one. He knew what killing did to a person. It altered them in a way they couldn't always come back from. He'd gladly have taken the shot for her to spare her the pain. It wasn't her first kill, he reminded himself, far from it, in fact. She was no more broken than he was.

They climbed back into the service elevator and Jyn punched the button to take them down. The darkness enclosed them, only flashing light for brief seconds when they whizzed past a window.

He saw the moment the warmth returned to her eyes. She touched the crystal beneath her shirt, she locked her eyes on his, and she smiled. His Jyn was back. He ran his fingertips down her soft cheek and cupped her face, then he fitted his lips over hers.

Each time he kissed her he felt like the floor fell away, but now with the elevator literally flying downwards, he had the strange sensation that they were floating. Just the two of them, the world a blur flying by, while they were anchored together.

Jyn clutched her hands in the fabric of his shirt, sighing against his lips. She deepened the kiss as she always did. It seemed they could never have just a soft lingering moment, it burned or it didn't exist at all--not that Cassian was complaining about that. When they needed to breathe, he rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed, hands still cupping her face.

"I love you." her voice was breathless and it was perfect.

He realized that she had never said those words—hinted at them but not voiced them directly. He opened his eyes so that he could be watching her when he said it back. "And I love you."

"I love you both." Galen's voice shattered their illusion.

Kriff, the comm. Jyn's cheeks were as red as he'd ever seen them, she buried her face against his shirt. Cassian cleared his throat as laughter came through the speaker…Galen, and a female. Cassian had a sneaking suspicion that said female had neatly cropped brown hair and a devilish grin. Jyn would be the end of his dignity, of that he was now sure.

"Right, well we have a shuttle to catch. Jyn and Cassian, out." Jyn said, then she shut off the feed.

The elevator doors opened and they strode out hand in hand, ready to take the next chance…but they both stopped in horror. What they saw in sky made Cassian's blood curdle in his veins, and his hand tightened to crushing intensity on Jyn's.

The Death Star had come to Scarif.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, changing the battle was really hard. I didn't want it to seem too easy for them or cheesy. I hope it read well!


	8. Is That the Kind of Way to Face the Burning Heat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is a bit short but I think it needed to end where it did so we can move on from here. Let me know what you think!

Ch 8:

Is That the Kind of Way to Face the Burning Heat?

 

Bodhi maneuvered the shuttle as close to the ground as he dared. K-2 was beside him working seamlessly as co-pilot. Bodhi took a split-second to appreciate Cassian’s work in creating him. The battle still wore on. From above, Bodhi really couldn’t say who was winning. The Alliance reinforcements had certainly made a dent in the Imperial forces, if nothing else. But the sheer number of Deathtroopers and Stormtroopers and Walkers and TIE fighters was unimaginable.

He had been terrified of the Empire’s capabilities—and even that had been a gross underestimation.

Tonc was at the comm station trying to coordinate the delivery of the tape. The cargo shuttle had a data transfer system, but this was a huge file, they had to hope that it would make it to them. If not, they had the hard copy, but there was still the matter of getting out of Scarif.

They came around a canyon wall and nearly ran headlong into a TIE fighter. Before Bodhi could even react, the thing opened fire on them. Bodhi felt his control of the cargo shuttle faltering, and then they were falling out of the sky

* * *

Jyn and Cassian fled toward the beach. Cassian said something about open ground. They would be easy to spot for Bodhi, if Cassian could hail him. If he was alive. If he hadn’t followed Cassian’s orders and made a break for it with the plans.

Jyn looked up at the giant battle station looming in the tropical sky. She couldn’t understand it. She’d killed Krennic before he’d really even comprehended what the Rebels were doing on Scarif. He hadn’t called for his prized creation. So who had? Who was at the helm if not Krennic?

Had the Empire warned the Imperial ground troops that the death star had come? Or were they willing to sacrifice hundreds of their own without second thought?

Warned or not, troops were retreating, Alliance and Imperial alike. They were fleeing Scarif. Fleeing the Death Star.

Jyn clutched the crystal through her shirt and focused on taking deep breaths. In and Out.

“Bodhi!” Cassian was shouting into his comm, over and over again. He wasn’t answering. Jyn feared she knew why. She collapsed to her knees in the sand. This was where it ended. All the running, fighting, hiding—for this.

A trio of Stormtroopers crested the beach and Cassian reacted at once. “Jyn! Get down.” He sprang to protect her, still holding onto hope that they could survive this. It was sweet and sad at the same time. Hadn’t he been the one to tell her that rebellions are built on hope? Despite all that he had done, all the carnage he had seen, he was a dreamer…he dreamed of victory and it propelled him through one assignment, and the next, and on and on…Jyn had never had that before Cassian. She’d only had her own fight, her own struggles, her own survival.

In Wobani she’d faced death and found herself indifferent to it…but now she had a second chance at her father at love at life…and she wanted it all.

His hands were there, grabbing at her arms. “Jyn! I see the cargo shuttle. Jyn! We have to run.”

Something strange happened then. Just when she thought she couldn’t possibly run, that the weight of this defeat was too much. The air around her seemed to hum. She felt the grains of sand, each one, vibrating with energy. She felt her own energy, swirling around her body, mixing with Cassian’s…and another’s concentrated around the crystal. She thought perhaps it was Lyra, That maybe the dream she’d had on the shuttle had been more of a message.

She got up and grabbed Cassian’s hand. Together they raced to the cargo shuttle. Flames from the engine bay liked the metal body of the ship. Her stomach plummeted to her feet. Bodhi & K-2. The plans. Cassian wrenched the door open, practically tearing it from its hinges.

Smoke billowed from the hull. He recoiled, coughing.

Jyn stepped forward. “Bodhi? K-2?”

There was a nondescript groan. “Cassian, he’s in there.”

Cassian was already at work. He’d removed his vest and wet it in the ocean water. “Stay here.” He said as he held the wet fabric up to his face to ward off the smoke and climbed in. 

* * *

Cassian had to climb over Tonc’s broken body to reach the cockpit ladder. He didn’t really look at the injuries, not wanting to imagine what he might find up the ladder. He climbed the rungs one handed, still clutching the wet vest to his nose and mouth, then pulled himself into the cockpit.

K-2 was slumped against the console, sparks crackling from exposed wiring…and his giant metal trunk was protecting something. Cassian tried not to look too hard or think too hard as he pushed his best friend aside and found the Imperial pilot, barely unconscious, but not bleeding. 

“Bodhi, where’s the tape?”

“Tonc.” He coughed.

“Can you walk?”

“I think so.” Bodhi struggled out from beneath K-2 and grabbed Cassian’s shoulder to steady himself.

  Cassian helped him down the ladder and then raced over to Tonc’s body. He would’ve been holding the tape…Cassian’s mind worked to trace Tonc’s path. He would’ve held the tape. Was he trying to transmit it? Cassian ran to the data station and found that the screen was blinking, barely clinging to life like the rest of the ship. But each time fuzzy half-life returned to the screen he saw two words.

Transfer Complete.

Relief didn’t even begin to cover what he felt. He still pulled the tape out of the receptacle and clipped it to his belt. Better safe than sorry. Then, he dashed out of the smoky ship. Bodhi had already stumbled out and was making his way toward Jyn, coughing and limping. Cassian ran toward them shouting that they’d done it. The plans got through but no one heard him because the ground had just begun to rumble.

 

* * *

Jyn heard the rumble start, felt the air around her vibrate harder than it had before. Something, a voice in her ear maybe, or an invisible hand guiding her.  _Left._ She looked and saw a shuttle that had gone down in the sand.

Her mind said, it won’t work, but there was the voice again. _It will work._ “Cassian, Bodhi, there.” She ran toward the shuttle.

“Are you sure about this?” Bodhi asked as they climbed into the ship.

“It doesn’t have to get us far…just away from the base. They only targeted the Citadel…just like Jedha City. We just have to get far enough from here to outrun the blast.”

Cassian and Bodhi jumped into the cockpit and Jyn clutched onto the straps hanging overhead. It was a tiny shuttle, barely enough room for the three of them, but that was perfect too. Smaller things moved faster.

The sea seemed to rise up, a giant tidal wave ready to consume everything in its path. Cassian started the engine. It took a few tries but eventually they heard a rumble. The water rushed toward them and suddenly they were catapulting forward. Jyn couldn’t tell if the engine was propelling them or if they were being carried on the waves, protected from destruction by some outer force.

Again, the crystal burned her skin. She wouldn’t question it. She would ride out the wave and pray that it took them away.

* * *

It didn’t take long for Bodhi to realize that he wasn’t so much steering the ship as the ship was steering him. He removed his hands from the console and cast a sideways glance at Cassian. He too was staring at the controls, his lips parted, eyes wide.

“What’s happening?” Bodhi asked.

“Hell, if I know.” Cassian shot back. “Jyn?” He glanced back at her, but she was in another world. Her eyes were clamped shut and her lips moved the way Chirrut’s had done so many times before.

Speaking of Chirrut, Bodhi wondered what had become of he and Baze. Had they made it out? Had they fled when the shield gate came down? The faces flashed before his eyes—Tonc, Melshi, K-2—what right did he have to be on this shuttle, fleeing death when they were gone?

He shook himself from those thoughts and thought of Galen. _You can get right by yourself if you do something about it._ Bodhi was glad he couldn’t see behind them, but he imagined the wall of water and earth and metal and stone chasing after them like death at their heels. Somehow, they were out-running death.

 


	9. Bodies working on Empty

Ch 9:

Bodies working on Empty

When Cassian was brave enough to open his eyes, he saw nothing but ocean and sand, seeming to go on without end. Bodhi still had his eyes clamped shut, hands white knuckled and clutching the controls. Jyn had been thrown backwards when the shuttle abruptly stopped moving.

He climbed over to her gently shaking her shoulder, “Jyn? Are you alright? Jyn, open your eyes.”

She blinked and he felt every nerve in his body uncoil. She was alive. They all were.

“Cass—“ Her eyes were glassy. “I hit my head.” She tried to sit up but swayed back.

“Don’t try to move until you’re ready. I don’t think we are in any immediate danger. I want to go look around." He touched her cheek, "You stay here alright?”

“Cassian, I’m not made of glass. Just, help me stand.” He wished she would listen, but Eadu taught him not to underestimate her stubborn nature. So, he helped her up.

Bodhi slowly came back to life, standing unsteadily and blinking at them both. “What the Hell happened back there?” He asked.

Jyn shook her head, fingers settling the necklace, “Something happened with the Kyber crystal. It was like it was talking to me.”

“Fascinating and definitely something we should look into—later, when we are not stranded on a now uninhabited planet.” Cassian said impatiently. “Let’s go look around.”

He stepped out of the battered shuttle into the blinding Scarif sun. His initial assessment had been correct. They had outrun the blast, but it had landed them on a vast tropical beach with nothing but Ocean ahead and sand behind. The Alliance probably thought they were dead at this point. They weren’t coming back to look for them.

He noticed Jyn fiddling with her comm beside him. “Anything?” He asked.

She shook her head. “I think the blast did something. It won't turn on.”

“The comms tower’s been obliterated." Bodhi added, "Even if our coms were working, there’s no signal now.”

“Does the ship have power?” Cassian asked.

“I think so.” Bodhi said, “The engine was running during the battle.”

“Can we get it up in he air?” Jyn asked.

“Only one way to find out.”

* * *

The medbay emptied out as news of Rogue One’s success broke through the base. Galen found himself alone, save for a few medical droids and other patients. He let his indulgent smile slip from his face. He clicked on the comm Mon Mothma had left with him for what felt like the millionth time.

“Jyn?” He said, “Cassian?” He waited. Nothing. He knew there would be nothing. He felt this sense of inevitability. Like the answer was in front of him but he wasn’t ready to know it. All he had to do was reach out and accept the truth but he left it, hanging over him untouched, clinging to the last vestiges of hope.

It wouldn’t end this way…he couldn’t let it.To have survived Eadu and be reunited with Jyn, only to have her ripped away again. No.

The door to the medbay burst open and a few higher ups walked in. At the head was a general with rust colored hair and a lined face. Mon Mothma was beside him. 

The man wasted no time. “Galen Erso? I am General Davits Draven. Just so you know, I wanted to have you thrown in a holding cell the moment you were stable…but it seems you contributed to Rogue One’s success…so I’m asking you now. Is the trap real? Are you on our side?”

Galen considered his answer and the people before him, watching expectantly. Finally, he said, “I do not agree with everything the Alliance has done in the name of principle. So no, I am not on your side. Jyn is all I have. All I have ever had. I am on Jyn’s side. If she trusts you, then I do too. As for my trap. Yes, it is real. I risked everything to tell you that before, why would I lie about it now?”

Draven gave a tight nod, even as his face broke into an uncharacteristic smile. “We can really beat this thing. We will beat this thing.”

“Thank you, Galen.” Mon Mothma said. “The Alliance is in debt to you.”

“All I want is Jyn back safe.” Galen held out the comm. “I haven’t been able to reach her.”

No one would meet his eye, and his stomach began to sink, lower and lower into his body. “What aren’t you telling me?”

It was Draven who spoke, “The Citadel on Scarif…and everything within range of it…was destroyed.”

“The Death Star?” Galen asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

They nodded.

He heard a sob tear through the air, not even realizing it came from him until Draven excused himself saying he’d give him some time to come to terms. Mon Mothma remained, watching him with understanding, but also pity. A look he sorely disliked.

“Is there any chance?” He asked.

She shook her head. “We are sending a party to assess the damage…we will know when they return. It doesn't look promising.”

“My wife believed in the Force." said Galen, "I don’t know what I believe anymore…but something, some force beyond my control keeps sparing me—and I don’t know why. Why am I still here when they are gone?”

“I can’t give you the answers you want, Galen,” Said Mon. “I can only assure you that _if_ she is out there…she will find her way back to you. From what I know of your daughter, she is resourceful and bright. She’s a survivor.”

Again, he realized he was crying. He made no attempts to hide it from the Senator. He nodded at her words, clinging to every syllable about his Jyn, wanting to know even the smallest things Mon Mothma could tell him about a girl he barely knew. “What about Captain Andor?” He asked, “Is he a good man?”

She gave him a knowing smile. “The best. He loves her very much, you needn’t worry about that. I’ve known Cassian all my life. In twenty years, he has never broken a single rule…until your daughter.”

Galen nodded, slightly comforted to know that if she was gone…she had known what it was to love someone and have their love in return.

A soldier stepped in, recoiling at the tension in the room. “Senator.” He said quietly, “A shuttle has just returned from Scarif. There were two survivors. They are bringing them her now.”

Galen’s heart leapt. “Who are they?”

“The two men from Jedha City, sir.” He said.

And Galen had never heard seven more depressing words in his life.

* * *

Jyn loomed over their shoulders, watching them work, trying to learn what she could about the engine…it wasn’t working. It all looked like the same to her.

Cassian sat back on his heels and wiped his sleeve across his brow. Bodhi soon followed. The men looked at each other and shook their heads. “Ship’s scrap.” Cassian said.

“Didn’t you say Scarif was a starship export station?” Jyn said.

Bodhi nodded, “Yes, but everything within range of the Citadel was vaporized…obviously.” He added quietly, shrinking back from Cassian’s glower. “I’m not very familiar with Scarif, but some of the other depots have underground storage…it’s a long shot but...”

“A long shot may be our only shot.” Jyn said casting an imploring look at Cassian. "We've faced worse odds."

He nodded, “Alright. Grab anything that may be useful form the shuttle. Let’s go.”

They stripped the shuttle of everything they could..and there wasn’t much. They packed what they found—a medkit, comm units, nutribars, fuses and wiring--into a duffel that Bodhi slung over his shoulder. Cassian held the only blaster because he insisted that Jyn still looked a bit woozy from the blow she’d taken to her head.

They set off on foot, making slow progress across the sand. The sun was hot and soon Cassian and Bodhi had their jackets tied around their waists, and Jyn was down to an undershirt and rolled up imperial trousers that had been her disguise.

By nightfall, they were all convinced they were getting closer. Unblemished sand gave way to the odd scarp of shrapnel or hunk of debris. They came across things scattered in the sand, checking each bit to see if anything could be salvaged. To their left, they’d come upon the familiar rise of cliffs. The Citadel had been built upon a similar rise.

Cassian stopped walking. “There’s an alcove over there. Let’s make camp for the night.”

“We have to keep walking.” Jyn insisted, though she felt the world spin on its access every time she turned her head too fast.

“You can barely stand.” Cassian said. “We won’t find anything in the dark. Let’s rest and start again tomorrow. We’re close now.”

“He’s right, Jyn. You don’t look great.” Bodhi said.

She frowned at them ganging up on her, but sighed and agreed…and though she’d never admit it to anyone, it was glorious when Cassian helped her sit down on a smooth rock in the alcove he’d found. She leaned back, watching him and Bodhi make a fire from dry wood and arrange what little clothing they had into some form of bedding. She toyed with the crystal, thinking again of her mother’s presence. She was sure now it had been Lyra.

She tried to recall how she’d called her. Had it been the crystal? Had it been the sheer force of her fear and desperation?  _Mama?_ She called with her thoughts…but nothing happened. Maybe her brain and body were too exhausted. She would try again after this, after they were safe.

Cassian unwrapped a nutribar and thrust it at her. “Here. You need to eat something.” He’d been decidedly gruff since they woke up on the shuttle and she decided not to argue. She took the bar and muttered a thank-you. She broke off a piece with her teeth but the minute it hit her tongue it tasted of ash. She gagged and spit it in the sand. “Ack.” She complained. “Are these expired?”

Bodhi quirked a brow. “Taste’s alright to me—course I lived on these for months in training so…”

Cassian eyed her silently. He turned to the entrance and said, “We will need more kindling for the fire. I’ll be back.” He was gone before she could argue.

“What’s wrong with him?” Bodhi asked, eyes fixed on the spot where the Captain had been moments before. “Lover’s quarrel?”

“Nothing of the sort.” Jyn mumbled, embarrassed. “I think he just feels helpless. We are stuck here and he can’t do anything.” She surprised herself with her answer, but it was something she felt. Something she just knew. Again, she was struck by the sense that something was different. Something had changed in her, be it the crystal, her mother or something more.

“I’ll go talk to him.” Bodhi said, “Will you be alright in here alone?”

“I think I can manage,” Jyn rolled her eyes good naturally.

* * *

Cassian wasn’t far when Bodhi found him. “Captain, wait up.” Bodhi jogged awkwardly up the sand all long limbs and angles. A strange fondness came over Cassian. Friends he thought, shaking his head...he'd never really had friends.

“You _can_ call me Cassian.” He said.

Bodhi smiled a bit, “Right. Cassian, what’s wrong with you?”

Cassian canted his head to the side, “Excuse me?”

“Jyn thinks you feel helpless…but you’ve just been…Well, acting like _yourself--_ your old self, all day and I think she’s worried." Bodhi shrugged, "I don't blame you. We are all on edge...what do you think happened? Did Jyn--has she ever mentioned being  _sensitive_ \--to the Force or anything?"

"No, she hasn't." Cassian sighed and raked a hand trough his hair. “I just want her safe and off this planet. We survived all of this just to be stranded here. She’s not well. She hit her head. Must’ve been hard because she’s been dizzy and pale all day. Whatever she did to save us, it took a lot out of her.”

Bodhi patted his shoulder. “We will find a way home. Force knows how we survived that…but we did and there has to be a reason.” They stood in companionable silence for a while, studying the stars.

“You think the others are alive?” Cassian asked. He imagined them out there, returning to Yavin IV to a chorus of cheers and applause. He needed to imagine them that way to keep himself sane. 

Bodhi nodded, “I like to think they are…and about K-2. I’m sorry."

He felt the pilot's eyes on him, "He protected me from the crash. Don’t think I’d be here without him.”

Cassian’s lips quirked. “Eh, apparently there’s about eight back-up tapes hidden in my quarters so…he’ll be back to his sarcastic ways in no time. I do wish he was here now, though.”

Bodhi laughed. “So, that’s why you’re so eager to get home. Don’t lie, you can’t live without him. He's your big metal security blanket.”

“You’ve caught me.” Said Cassian. He turned back toward the alcove. “I’m going to talk to Jyn.”

It was hard to tell with Bodhi's tawny complexion but Cassian was sure he was blushing, “So, I should wait out here?”

“What? No! Talk…as in _talk_. Do you think that’s all we do?”

Bodhi fell into step beside him. “Well, I did get an eyeful on the shuttle so…better safe than sorry.”

Now, Cassian laughed. “I’m glad you’re here too Bodhi. I’m glad you brought the message.”

* * *

Jyn was feigning sleep when they came in but her eyes popped open the second Cassian sat down beside her. She smiled at the familiarity of his body beside hers. Instinctively, her fingers twined themselves with his. She'd been trying not to think about it all. About the beach, or the fact that she'd been ready to die just hours ago. She had been ready to die and all she cared about was the fact that Cassian was there with her, that he would be the last one to hold her...but then, they hadn't died. Lyra saved them...and for a moment Jyn had felt what she assumed Chirrut felt. She felt the movement of all things, the hum of life around her, the energy connected to it veering off this way and that like a web of multicolored strings woven before her eyes.

There was Cassian, red passion and blood. There was her, yellow, like the sun and the tip of a flame. There was Lyra, a calm blue....

...and there had been more. Threads connecting her and Cassian. Chirrut had said it to her when they'd met, all the way back on the shuttle from Jedha. Unalterably bound. She knew that that was true now...and the thought frightened her just enough to keep her from voicing it. She trusted Cassian now, loved him even, but did she  _need_ him? Could she allow herself to admit that she couldn't live in a world without him in it?

“How are you feeling?” He asked, interrupting her thoughts.

She shrugged, “Hungry for something that doesn’t taste like death.” They both flinched at her words, “Bad metaphor…sorry.”

"These really aren't that bad." He said inspecting the label of the nutribar, "I didn't know you were such a gourmet Erso." 

She smiled, "I'm not...maybe it's just nerves. I never could eat when I was worked up."

"You worked up quite an appetite the other night, if I remember correctly."

“I can hear you.” mumbled Bodhi, who was lying on his side with his back to them. 

They both laughed and Cassian pulled Jyn into his arms, settling back against the rocky wall so that she was lying against his chest. She snuggled her head beneath his chin and let her arms circle his slim waist.

“We will find a way out of here. I promise.” He said. She smiled at the rumble of his voice from within his chest.

“I know we will…this was my idea, remember?” She tilted her face up and reached up to thread her fingers in his hair. She yanked his lips to hers. He responded at once, cupping her face and forcing her lips apart with his tongue. The kiss was sweet and tender. She marveled at the fact that each new kiss with him could seem different. There had been fire and hunger; need and affirmation; then love...and now this, sweet and intimate. Both of their hands around the other's face, clutching, cherishing, anchoring.

Cassian pulled away first. "Get some sleep, love."

"You too," Bodhi grumbled.

“Goodnight, Bodhi,” Jyn laughed. "And Cassian, I love you too." 

* * *

The Rebel transport shuttle circled the beaches of Scarif, surveying the wreckage. He thought he'd seen movement near the cliffs, but when he'd circled around there was nothing there. When he'd completed his fourth pass, the pilot brought the comm to his lips. “There’s noting here, Sir.”

A crackled voice came through the receiver. “Acknowledged commander, return to base.”  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a less exciting chapter...but we're headed into the beyond now I promise!


	10. Heaven and Hell Were Words to Me

Ch 10:

Heaven and Hell Were Words to Me

 

They continued on that way for three more days; making slow progress across the terrain and then, stopping to find shelter. Jyn tired quickly each day. By day four, it was just he and Cassian taking shifts out searching. They were convinced that they had found the battlefield, or where it would’ve been, and that meant the storage facility, if there was one, if it survived, had to be near.

It was Bodhi who found it in the wee hours of the morning. He came back to their hideout shouting and yelping and hollering. Cassian and Jyn joined him and soon they were all three of them shoveling sand and dirt with their bare hands, attempting to expose the hangar door, now buried in the earth.

They got it uncovered and got it open, then slipped inside. There were several shuttles to choose from. Cassian picked a small transport, hoping it would be the least conspicuous when they landed at their next stop.

How they got the ship through the small hangar door was still a blur. The Captain swearing in another language had been involved.

But, they got the shuttle up and running. Sure enough, there wasn’t much fuel. There was enough to get them to the next planet or moon, but not enough to make the jump to hyperspace and certainly not enough to get them to Yavin IV. 

Bodhi wasn’t complaining, though. There were more nutribars, some medical supplies, cots, and even a small ‘fresher…and the shuttle moved. It was a vast improvement.

* * *

The posthumous award ceremony was brief and private. There had been a hiccup with the Death Star plans. Raddus's ship the  _Profundidty_  had received the plans from Scarif and delivered them into the hands of Princess Leia Organa…but she'd been intercepted by Vader. So, perhaps that was more than a hiccup, Galen thought.

The award ceremony had been Draven's idea, surprising as it was. He didn't want to distract from the fact that the Princess was still missing, but he wanted to give the rebels a small display of hope. In his brief speech in the crowded bunker he'd said as much adding that, "It is true that there is still work to be done…but there will always be work to be done. If we don't take the time to recognize and celebrate the small victories, we will lose sight of hope. We almost  _did_  lose sight of it…and if not for the actions of one brave rogue crew, there wouldn't even be an Alliance to fight for today."

They'd cleared Galen from the medaby so that he could attend the ceremony. Draven got slightly choked up as he presented Galen with his daughter's, Captain Andor's, and Bodhi Rook's medals. There had been some curious whispering when he accepted them all. Draven had been quite fond of his Captain it seemed.

Each medal in Galen's hands was another stab to the heart. Bodhi, who'd been roped into this through Galen's own actions. Bodhi, unassuming, kind-hearted, Jedha boy, who'd only wanted a better life. Jyn, who'd been born to this fight through no fault of her own. Cassian…the Captain was still a mystery, one Galen would never get the chance to solve. Cassian, who loved his daughter, who died for her and the dream she'd rekindled in them all.

Last, Mon Mothma awarded the two survivors of Jedha. Baze Malbus, a burly man with more hair than some women, and Chirrut Imwe, a blind holy-man, who had the same sort of energy about him that Lyra had. The same ethereal aura.

Mon Mothma finished by saying that every effort was underway to find the Princess and that the Force was on their side. She gave a cryptic smile and that was that.

Everyone filed out of the bunker, but Galen stayed. He had no where to go even if he'd wanted to. Then, his daughter's shipmates were there—Baze and Chirrut.

"Your burden seems heavy, Galen Erso." Said the blind one.

"They should be here." Was all he could think to say.

"Have you given up hope so soon? Do you not believe that they are out there?"

Galen shook his head. "I've been informed by some…that the odds are not favorable to that outcome."

Baze laughed, a deep hearty sound, "Since when have any of us listened to that rot? Unfavorable odds seem to be our specialty."

Galen studied them, "Does that mean  _you_  believe?"

Chirrut fixed both hands on his staff and rested it before himself, the line of it perfectly aligned with his nose, dividing his body down the center. It was placed with such accuracy, Galen couldn't help but believe the man's extra-perceptions. "I trust the Force," He said.

It had been a long time since Galen had trusted anything...let alone the Force. But, his message had gotten through, he'd looked upon his Stardust once more, the plans had been liberated from Scarif. Maybe it was time that he tried. Galen took in a long slow breath and he felt something shift in the air. It was a subtle change, but there all the same. He'd have sworn a hand touched his face.  _They are waiting for you._  "Lyra?" He said aloud. He felt the warmth of her there. It was oddly familiar, like it had been there all along if he'd only thought to look.

He didn't miss Chirrut's smile. Baze seemed to understand what was going on, even if he couldn't feel it. He said, "Even if the Alliance doesn't sanction a rescue mission—it wouldn't be the first time we've  _borrowed_  a ship…"

"We need a pilot." Said Chirrut.

"I'll get us a pilot," Galen said. "Leave that to me." With three medals clutched in his hands he set off to assemble a team.

* * *

Finally, she was warm and safe and moving as the stolen shuttle made slow but steady progress toward wherever they would go next. For all her past escapades, Jyn had never been more relieved to put a planet behind her than she was as they left Scarif.

She was also relieved to find some semblance of privacy from her companions. She’d thrown up her fifth nutribar that week and it was getting harder and harder to find excuses to sneak off into the cliffs alone. Now, there was a working bathroom to hide in.

Not that she was hiding…she just knew Cassian well enough to know that he would worry. He would make this into a big deal and it wasn’t. Maybe she had a concussion. Maybe it was heat exhaustion. Maybe stress. She’d survived worse.

She turned on the ‘fresher and shrugged out of her borrowed imperial clothes, curling her lip at the sight of them lying there on the small bathroom’s floor. She’d burn them as soon as she got the chance.

She stepped under the water, sighing as her muscles relaxed. She rifled through the little basket of supplies: a bar of soap, a straight razor for shaving (which looked far too dangerous to be used on a moving aircraft), a couple of toothbrushes. She took the soap and began scrubbing Scarif from her skin. As she passed the soap over the inner bicep of her left arm, she saw the tiny bump where her implanted birth control was.

She paused. It was something she never even thought about…it had been there for five or six years now. Five or six? How long did those last? At some point they needed to be replaced…right?

Everything, each detail of the last couple of months, came back in a rush. Corulag. Cassian. Chirrut’s words. Unalterably bound. Her dream. The colored strings. The nutribars. She ghosted a hand over her stomach, it was flat…but there was an almost imperceptible rise—no bigger than there was after a large meal—but it was _new_.

How long had it been since Corulag? Nine or ten weeks? More? It was before Wobani…

No.

She didn’t even realize the razor was in her hand until she’d sliced a small line on her bicep and pried the tiny metal implant out of the gash. She was sitting on the floor of the ‘fresher, staring at the offensive device, the razor forgotten, when Cassian had come to find her.

He saw blood and his eyes went wild with the fierce protection he’d developed toward her. “Jyn! What have you done?”

She looked at the mixture of blood and water swirling down the drain. The cut wasn’t deep, but straight razor cuts bled like none other. It must have looked far more horrific than she’d meant for it to. “I had to take it out.” She managed, though her mind was still reeling too fast to communicate in any coherent way.

“Take what out?” He said as he shut off the water and pulled her naked body up. He wrapped her in the scratchiest towel the Empire had to offer while he frantically mumbled something about the medkit. Then, there was a sting as a bacta patch covered the self-inflicted wound. 

“Jyn!.” He demanded again. “What were you thinking?”

There were so many things to say that she didn’t know how to begin. She started with the most obvious explanation. She held out the little implant. “I took it out.”

“What is it?” Cassian scrunched his nose, examining the quarter-inch piece of copper.

“My birth control implant.”

His handsome brow wrinkled in confusion. “Okay…why did you feel the need to take it out here…on a stolen shuttle?”

“Because it didn’t work.” She heard the words fall into the air and hoped he understood. Her hazel eyes met his dark ones. She didn’t know if she was ready to give voice to the other thing, the truth of what this meant.

She watched as a thousand thing played across his face. Confusion. Realization. Understanding. Acceptance. Excitement. Love. Then, that accented voice that drove her wild most days said, “Are you sure?”

She nodded.

* * *

Cassian stared at her there on the shower floor, certain that his heart had stopped beating. All he could see was blood. It took a moment for his panicked mind to realize that there wasn't that much blood. A minor cut. Nothing fatal.

Still, when he'd come to grouse at her for stealing all the warm water…he hadn't expected blood.

"Jyn! What have you done?" He shut off the water and reached for her. He knew she'd been different since the crystal did whatever it did…but was she so far gone that she would hurt herself? How had he missed that? This wasn't the Jyn he loved.

"I had to take it out." She said simply.

"Take what out?" He asked as he dried her body. The water had gone cold and her skin was covered in gooseflesh. He doubted she even realized she was shivering. Once she was dry and bandaged he tried again. "Jyn! What were you thinking?"

She held out her palm. A tiny metal object was in the center, no bigger than a small nail. "I took it out." She repeated.

"What is it?"

"My birth control implant."

Maybe she  _had_  hit her head harder than he and Bodhi thought. "Okay…why did you feel the need to take it out here…on a stolen shuttle?"

And then she said four words that would change him completely. As if this small woman hadn't already turned his world upside down, she looked into his eyes and said, "Because it didn't work."

At first he didn't believe it. It seemed to good to be true. Miracles like this happened to other people. People who hadn't murdered and lied to survive for twenty-years. "Are you sure." He asked, afraid every passing second that this would all be a mistake. That she would take the words back.

She didn't. She nodded.

"Oh, Jyn." He crushed her to his chest, tucking her head in the crook of his neck as he kissed her wet hair over and over again. The front of his shirt was wet where she buried her face, from the shower or her tears…he couldn't say. His own cheeks were wet from tears. Both of them stood there, clinging to each other. Crying, shaking, existing.

He pulled her back so he could look down at her face. She was red and splotchy and more beautiful than he'd ever seen her…but she wasn't smiling as much as he was and his heart broke a little at that. Wasn't she happy? Did she not want this? Maybe, she didn't want it with him? That thought opened up a dark void that he didn't want to fall into.

She titled her head. "You're happy?" She asked. He felt her fingers touch the corners of his lips which were still smiling.

"Of course." He said tracing the skin beneath her eyes softly with the pads of his thumbs, smearing away the tears. "Are you?"

Her bottom lip quivered. "Look at us…we're a mess. We barely survived the past week. What right do we have to bring a baby into this?"

They both flinched because she'd said it. Given a name to what they hadn't yet. Baby. Now that the word had been said aloud it became even more vivid in his mind. More real. More wonderful.

"Jyn, babies are born every day. War doesn't stop time—life goes on  _in spite_  of the Empire and their hate."

"But what if we can't keep it safe?"

"But what if we can?" Cassian smiled down at her, trying to convey everything he couldn't say, "I love you, you know that. I stopped thinking of myself as a person at some point. I was just part of the tapestry that was the Alliance. I couldn't afford weaknesses so I couldn't afford to care about things. Then, I met you. I think that was the first time I imagined that there might be a life for me full of more than just war."

He was getting through to her. It was subtle but he saw her grasping at the possibilities. "You're going to be the kind of father who brags to everyone he sees, aren't you?"

Again, she'd said words without realizing the weight they carried. Father. He was going to be a father. He kissed her then, sealing any arguments with his lips. She climbed up his body until her legs were around his waist, their faces level with each other.

He wanted nothing more than to carry her into the cabin and make love to her right then and there…but they weren't alone. So, the small bathroom would have to do.

His hands trailed down her body, pulsing when they reached her stomach. He pulled away from here abruptly. He looked into her eyes, asking permission. She nodded, already following his train of thought.

Slowly, he crouched down so that he could press a kiss to her stomach, and the small curve that had already formed. He never would've noticed it, but now that he knew…it seemed huge. Well, not huge, but present? No, that still wasn't right, he thought. But who could form words at a time like this?

* * *

Jyn was painfully aware of how long they'd both been gone by the time they went to join Bodhi. They were going to give the poor man a complex. That or he'd never volunteer to be alone with them again.

As soon as they were in the cockpit, Cassain proved that she had been right about his bragging inclinations. "Bodhi! Guess what!"

"Cassian…now? Really?" she mumbled, immediately wishing she could retreat back to the bathroom. Maybe it was just her maternal instincts and need to protect already kicking in. Yeah, that was it. Maybe one day she'd believe it.

"Yes, now." He said taking her hand and pressing a kiss into her palm. "We just escaped death and we all need some hope."

Bodhi put the ship on autopilot and spun the pilot's chair around to face them. He eyed them warily—Cassian with a goofy grin and Jyn with a slightly more reserved embarrassment.

"I'm going to be a father!" Cassian announced, and Jyn thought he'd never sounded more pleased with himself. Who'd have thought there was a family man and hopeless romantic hiding behind that practiced spy's mask.

At first, Bodhi's eyes went wide. It was probably the last thing he expected to hear. It really was the most impractical thing she'd ever done and she was highly aware. What she didn't expect was Bodhi's enthusiasm. He sprang up and threw his arms around them both with a "Guys! Congratulations!"

It seemed everyone but her thought that babies were the solution to all the world's problems.

"That's great news!"

"Thank-you, Bodhi." Cassian hadn't stopped grinning. He was excited enough for the both of them and that was enough for now.

"Your father's going to be so proud, Jyn." Bodhi beamed at her, completely unaware of what he'd just said.

She blinked once, twice...and then, her face crumbled into sobs. Bodhi looked thoroughly cowed, "Oh no, did I say something wrong…I didn't-"

Her father...she barely knew the man. He had missed his chance to know her-but he'd have a chance with his grandchild. She shook her head frantically, finally smiling through the tears, "Happy tears," she said throwing her arms around the pilot. "Happy tears. Ugh, I feel like a girl." She retreated, wiping at her face, trying to reign in all that was pouring out of her.

Cassian turned serious. "Okay, not to break up the celebrating…because believe me, there will be more celebrating…but we are coming up on Corulag."

"Corulag?" Jyn asked with disbelief. She looked out the viewport, and sure enough, the planet was coming into view. "Are you kidding me, Cassian?"

He might as well have shrugged, "It was the closest stop. We need fuel and food…and I think a solid night of rest in a real bed is also in order."

"I'm wanted on Corulag."

"You're wanted across half the galaxy. If we were sticking to planets that were Jyn-friendly, our options would be severely limited."

"Thanks a lot." She said shooting him a narrowed glare.

"We're probably all wanted by the Empire at this point…or would be if they knew we were alive. We will just have to be inconspicuous."

"Yes, because you are the master of subtlety." She said, still ruffled by his earlier comment.

"When I want to be," he argued, "You are talking to one of the most decorated intelligence officers in the Alliance."

Her shoulders deflated and she conceded the point. "I know…sorry…I'm just—"

"I know," he said tucking her against him once more.

"Awe, guys." Bodhi smiled. He shook his head. "Come on you crazy kids…let's get off this shuttle."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a fluffier chapter. Please note, I have no idea where Corulag is in relation to Scarif--and the actual map of the Star Wars galaxy...have you seen that thing? Not helpful. Sorry if anything is incongruent. Creative license?


	11. In the Low Lamp Light I was Free

 

 

 

Ch 11:

In the Low Lamp Light I was Free

Baze sat in the hold of yet another stolen shuttle. It was becoming second nature now, riding in cargo holds. He'd spent most of his life on solid ground in the Temple. He would carry the ache of Jedha's loss with him for the rest of his days, but he was beginning to find reasons to like this new chapter.

Shuttles were one of those reasons. This life was an adventurous one.

Chirrut was deep in his prayers and meditation beside him, while Galen loomed in the doorway of the cockpit talking with their new pilot Shara and her husband Kes, who was attempting to co-pilot, but from the grumbling coming from Shara, was doing a spectacularly bad job of it.

Baze liked this Shara Bey.

The couple had volunteered to help because Galen allegedly knew Shara's father and Shara and Kes were, if not friends of, then at least acquaintances of Captain Andor.

Baze thought of the Captain and Jyn, of Bodhi and K-2. Chirrut was certain that they lived. Baze was not, but he would never voice it.

He hoped for Galen's sake that they were alive. The man didn't look like he could take much more.

The rebel scouting party had returned from Scarif bearing bleak news. Nothing had been found. Galen wouldn't rest until he tried. So, to Scarif they went, to conduct their own search in hopes of uncovering something. Anything.

"You are thinking very hard about something." Chirrut interrupted his thoughts.

"It is what I do best." Baze responded. "I was thinking that Scarif is a waste of time. They're not there."

"Ah." Said Chirrut. "No, I do not believe they are there. I feel that they are somewhere else now. It is crowded where they and dangerous."

Baze laughed, "You got all that from your meditating? Sounds about like every other planet in the Empire. Ask the Force to be more specific."

"We will check them all if we have to." Galen said, intruding on their conversation.

Kes shouted from the cockpit. "We are tied-in to all the rebel frequencies. If they contact the Alliance, we will know."

"Then, that will have to be good enough." Baze settled back against the ship wall and closed his eyes. Trying to conceal his discomfort at the thought of seeing Scarif again so soon after they'd fled it.

Chirrut's hand settled atop his and he said, "I will be beside you, and the Force is with us."

Baze sighed, he should've known it was no use hiding his thoughts. Not with Chirrut beside him.

* * *

Jyn huddled beside Bodhi, watching Cassian as he worked. They were in some back alley pawn shop. Jyn didn't want to know how or why Cassian knew about this place. Even Liana Hallik would've turned her nose up at this. Every surface looked like it could give you a disease of some kind, and it smelled like urine.

There were a few other customers in the shop. One of them was inching ever closer to Jyn, licking his fang-like teeth while another was sniffing a used ship battery like it was a fresh baked treat.

But they were not the source of her distress. Her distress was anchored on the two people talking with Cassian. First, the Aqualish…she just hadn't had good experiences with them. The Zeltron woman beside the Aqualish didn't look trustworthy either. Maybe it was the way her lilac eyes appraised Cassian. Jyn found herself clenching her fists and readying for battle at the first sign of threat—be that a weapon or a flirtatious smile.

"Come on Basca, you owe me." Cassian had his most charming personality on display. Sometimes she forgot what he was. The man collected personalities like some people collect trophies. Today, he was talking with his hands, leaning a fraction toward the woman. He was a god-actor but this was entering eye-rolling territory. "Unless, you want Koda to accidentally stumble upon your new location."

The woman's flirtatious smile evaporated into a scowl. She looked passed Cassian to where Jyn and Bodhi were huddled. "You're  _friends,_  are they Alliance?"

"Yes." Cassian said too quickly, "They won't cause any trouble. Isn't that right?" Cassian called over his shoulder.

"No trouble." Bodhi smiled. Jyn did not. She cast a narrowed glare at the woman that she hoped was threatening. It was hard to do. She wasn't feeling particularly threatening in her borrowed imperial clothes…not to mention her new found status as mother-to-be.

"You. Girl. I know your face." She said appraising Jyn.

Cassian gave a disarming laugh and said. "That's unlikely. Isn't it Kalla?" He looked at her, waiting for her to corroborate the identity he'd just given her.

Jyn had other plans. The Zeltron needed to be put in her place. Jyn sauntered to Cassian's side and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Yes, we've only just been married you see…I've never left my home planet but Cassian insisted on a tour of the galaxy for our honeymoon. He's such a romantic."

Now, Basca straightened. Any fluidity in her body that Cassian had drawn out with his easy smiles and compliments was gone now. Cassian wrapped an arm around Jyn and squeezed a bit harder than he needed to as if to show his annoyance.

"And you are?" Basca pointed at Bodhi.

"My brother…half. On my father's side." Jyn cast a self-satisfied smile in Cassian's direction and batted her eyelashes a few times. Bodhi's shoulders were shaking, his face cast at the floor.

Cassian forced another smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "We just need one night, and enough fuel to get us to the outer rim."

"It must've been quite the honeymoon if you've found yourself broke and out of gas in my town."

"We were robbed." He said curtly, not even bothering to sound convincing at this point.

Basca clucked her tongue. Then she opened a drawer and rifled through the contents eventually coming up with a key card. "I can give you one hundred credits…and nothing more. You can stay upstairs for the night." The woman didn't sound pleased but Cassian seemed to have some leverage with her.

"My  _wife_  and I are much obliged." He said, taking Jyn's hand and yanking her toward the door. "Bodhi! Let's go."

* * *

The moment the were outside the shop, both of them were laughing at him. Cassian suddenly remembered why he never took a partner on his missions. "What you pulled back there wasn't funny, Jyn." He said, though it wasn't as threatening as he wanted it to be.

This only caused more laughter. "Oh, okay, so that's how it is?" He stomped away from them, mumbling curses that, thankfully, neither of them could understand. He headed around to the back of Basca's shop where the scaffold stairs led to the upstairs apartments that Basca rented out to those who were less than friendly with the Empire.

Jyn and Bodhi followed, red-faced and stumbling along. By the time they reached the rooms Jyn had sobered enough to say, "Serves you right, bringing me here…then flirting with that woman."

"I was doing my job! You need to let me."

"Your job? Yes, I remember exactly how you used to do your  _job._ "

"That's in the past. You did some questionable things yourself Liana." That silenced her. Cassian shook his head and unlocked the door. It was a small apartment with two bedrooms (more like closets) connected by a common area.

Bodhi hooked a thumb toward the left bedroom. "I'm beat, so I'm just going to catch a nap and let you two work this out. Cassian, get me when you're ready."

Cassian nodded, "We need to fuel the ship and try to get a message to the Alliance. I think we should leave in the middle of the night just to avoid as many witnesses as possible. I'll wake you in a few hours, sound alright?"

"Perfect." Bodhi loped off to the left bedroom and shut the door. He probably was tired, he was the last one of them on piloting duty…but he was also avoiding them. That seemed to be Bodhi's way…shying away from conflict.

Cassian went into the other bedroom to find Jyn seated on the bed, arms folded across her chest. He watched her right hand unconsciously settle near her mostly flat stomach and knew there was no point in pretending that he could ever stay mad at her. With a huff, he laid on the bed beside her, pulling her down to lie across him. She didn't stop him but her lips stayed in a pout.

"I should go find us something else to wear. You can't keep traipsing around in that." He said, feeling more an more tired just at the prospect of getting up from the bed.

"I don't know. An imperial uniform might be my safest bet until we get out of here." She said. Then, after a pause she added, "I'm sorry."

He craned his neck to see her. Bottom lip jutted out, eyes round and repentant. "I'm not mad at you, Jyn…but you are a terrible spy." She snuggled up against his chest, her fingers playing with the buttons of his shirt—or the buttons that were left. She'd gotten a bit carried away in the shuttle bathroom.

"I always preferred the truth…and a blaster if the truth didn't suffice."

He laughed, "This from the woman with as many known aliases as me—a career intelligence officer?"

She shrugged, "Self preservation."

He shifted so that they were lying face to face, noses almost touching. She reached out to trace the panes of his face with her fingers, as if trying to memorize him by touch alone.

"It wasn't a terrible cover story." He said, gauging her reaction.

Her fingers stilled and he felt her tense. "I know. I'd buy Bodhi as my half-brother easily. We have very similar bone structures."

He chuckled. "I love you," He said as he rolled to sit up, "and I'll be back."

"Do you have to leave right this minute?" Her arms snaked around him from behind and her mouth was wet and warm against his ear. She did something utterly maddening with her tongue and he almost gave in…but the sooner he got them supplies, the sooner they could be away from here. The sooner he could get his family home. He smiled at that. He had a family. Jyn was his family.

He had welcomed her home…and he'd left it to her to interpret what that meant. But for him it meant all of it—him, his love, life and soul if she wanted to take it…and she had.

After a moment of her lips and tongue and breath on his neck, he'd utterly forgotten what he was planning to do. "I mean we _are_ on our honeymoon after all." He said as he let her pull him back to the bed, let her undress him and love him the way he'd never let anyone before her.

Later, as they lie there, sunset pouring through the grimy window of the apartment, Jyn pointed to the scars that decorated his skin, asking about their origins. He told her about Fest, and his early days in the Alliance. The times he'd been shot, stabbed, and broken. The marks they'd left, not just on his body but on his soul.

Jyn had her own stories and battle scars. From a home on Coruscant or a farm on Lah'mhu or an extremist's travels. The life she'd lived amazed him, not just because it was so similar to his own but because it had shaped her into this woman who was his equal in every sense of the word. This woman who had finally been the one to see him and understand him, who demanded nothing from him but took everything all the same.

He pulled her warm skin flush with his and let his eyes drift closed dreaming of a little girl with hazel eyes, tawny skin, and her father's reserved nature. After that came a boy with his mother's spirit and his father's dark features. He never thought about having a family, but now that he could almost touch it he found that his imagination wouldn't be silenced.

He dreamed of holidays without war. His gown children gathered around a dinner table while their children played in the field.

He dreamed of life. He dreamed of a legacy.

* * *

It was the chill that woke her. When Jyn opened her eyes the light from the window had gone dark and the bed beside her was cold. She sat up, rubbing her palms against her exposed skin for warmth. She squinted in the darkness. "Cassian?"

She waited for an answer that didn't come. He and Bodhi must have gone to get supplies and left her to sleep. If he thought he was going to get away with treating her like a breakable doll for the rest of this pregnancy, he was in for a rude awakening.

She climbed out of bed and fumbled through the dark for the light switch. The light, when it came on, burned her eyes and she flinched waiting for her vision to readjust. Her gaze fell at once to the nightstand. Cassian's blaster. There was no way he left without that…

…Unless he left it there for her to protect herself. He'd liberated a vibroblade and a truncheon from the stolen shuttle. Maybe he had those with him.

She pulled on her clothes. Cassian was right, she needed to get rid of this imperial costume. She'd been wearing it since Scarif and it smelled worse than Bantha piss. She padded out into the common room and her eyes shot to the front door—hanging open like some menacing invitation into the hereafter. She went back for Cassian's blaster.

She held it ready as she knocked on Bodhi's door.  _Please don't answer. Please be out with Cassian to get supplies._

"Jyn?" Bodhi's sleepy eyes saw the blaster and he reeled back, "Whoa! It's just me!"

"Cassian didn't wake you?"

"No…he didn't." Bodhi looked from her to the open door. " _Why_  didn't he wake me?"

"Get your things." She said, her voice grave.

* * *

Bodhi, armed only with a vibrobalde, raced after Jyn down the scaffold steps and back to the entrance of Basca's shop. Jyn practically kicked the door down and stalked in, blaster raised and ready. Bodhi hung back, not wanting to get in her way, lest he also be kicked down. Briefly, just for a fraction of a fraction of a second, he considered the fact that his life as an Imperial cog had been at least predictable...normal in a twisted way. His life with one Jyn Erso was anything but that.

"Where is he!" She yelled a general statement to the shop's occupants. There were a lot of people there for the late hour, Bodhi observed.

The shop came alive with a chorus of…

… _Where's who?_

_…_ _Watch where you're pointing that thing!_

_…_ _Who the kriff is this?_

Basca, summoned by the commotion, appeared from what might've been a back room. She cast an amused smirk at the blaster, clearly unaware of just what Jyn was capable of. "There she is. I'm surprised it took you so long—Liana Hallik."

"That's not my name." Jyn said.

"Of course its not." Basca rolled her eyes. "I forgot your Kala...on your honeymoon."

Jyn stalked closer with the blaster. Bodhi followed, wielding the blade toward the onlookers the way he imagined Baze would do if he were here, all grounded and snarling, the words  _Try Me_ on his lips.

"My name is Jyn Erso…and you took something that belongs to me."

Basca didn't seem fazed by the name. "Captain Andor and I have a score to settle. It doesn't involve you—whoever you are—most of my customers have bounties on their heads and I'm no rat. So, consider this your chance to walk out of here a free woman. I promise that you won't get the same offer from the Imperials."

Jyn adjusted her aim and fired a shot that whizzed by Basca's left ear, only missing by a hair's breath. "Where is he!"

"Ah, Jyn." Bodhi tugged at her sleeve, trying to redirect her attention to the group of very imposing looking gentleman who were now blocking the exits.

Basca snarled, "I take that as a no."

"Jyn, we've got company."

"Cassian!" Jyn yelled. Her eyes searching.

"Jyn, we've got to go…now!" Bodhi, took her arm and ripped her away from Basca. He ducked his head, squared his shoulders and barreled straight into a ceiling-high display shelf. The thing teetered before tumbling over on top of Basca's men. Glass shattered, and wood splinted and it was all an unholy mess. Somehow, in the chaos, he and Jyn slipped out the door.

He was sprinting. Jyn was being as burdensome as humanly possible. Kicking and screaming Cassian's name, trying to get free of Bodhi's grasp. He ran for the shuttle bay, not sure where else to go. They sailed past the Harbormaster's office and onto their shuttle without a word to any of the workers who came to help them.

Bodhi didn't want to imagine what it must've looked like. Him hauling a woman by the arm onto a shuttle while she screamed out a name over and over like she'd lost her will to live and that name was all she had left to cling to.

He wanted to say something to her. Anything. But there wasn't time. They needed to get up in the air; get away from the city and make a plan. They took off with Bodhi, eyeing the fuel gauge as if staring at it would fix the problem. He didn't go far, just away from Corulag City into the bamboo covered outskirts where Basca's men wouldn't be looking. Where there was no fuel to be found or supplies to be foraged.

When they were hidden, he turned to Jyn. She was taking measured breaths, her lips pressed into a thin angry line, nostrils flaring with each rise of her chest. "Go back." She demanded.

"Jyn—"

"We have to go back. We fought our way out of Jedha, Eadu, Yavin, Scarif—I think we can handle one jealous Zeltron woman."

"It wasn't one Zeltron woman!" Bodhi argued. "You were too busy waving your gun around to notice—there were dozens of them in the shadows. Men who made Baze look like an Ewok! Of course we have to get Cassian back, but barging in there wasn't going to do it. Stop and think!"

Jyn looked at once impressed and irate. She blinked at him, he blinked back. He straightened his shoulders, cleared his throat and said, "Right then. Now that that's out of the way…what are we going to do?"

"The comm." She said. "I know Cassian didn't want us trying to reach the Alliance from an imperial shuttle, but it's our only choice for now. We send out a message and then we abandon the ship. Rogue on needs rebel assistance on Corulag—but nothing more. We will walk back toward town. If the Imperials track the signal all they'll find is this ship. We will be lost in the city."

"What about Basca?" Bodhi asked.

"She wasn't after us in the first place. As soon as they think we've taken off they'll stop looking."

It wasn't a bad plan. Bodhi nodded, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay." His fingers trembled as he tuned the frequency scanner and prayed someone was within range, prayed anyone was listening. "This is Rogue One, calling for assistance on Corulag. Repeat Rogue One calling for any and all assistance on Corulag."

* * *

Kes lowered the commlink. His eyes went to Shara. She was looking at him. They shared the same smile they'd shared the last time Rogue One had risen from the ashes, when the survivors returned and the tapes were transmitted.

In unison, they both turned in their chairs to the man behind them. Kes didn't often see grown men cry. It made him uncomfortable if he was honest…but Galen Erso could cry all he wanted.

"Shara, set course for Corulag."

Galen mouthed something that might have been,  _thank-you_ …

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you to everyone who has read, reviewed, liked or otherwise interacted with this story! I love hearing your feedback and suggestions!


	12. My Church Offers No Absolutes

 

 

 

Ch 12:

My Church Offers No Absolutes

He was aware of small things.

Unimportant things.

A pipe dripped. Quick, Quick…Slow.

Something was alive in the shadows. Something small, furry, and diseased.

Footsteps, when they came, echoed on for miles. One man walking could sound like a stampede.

Cassian had given up trying to move. If there was a bone left unbroken in his body, he couldn't find it. His right eye was swollen shut and felt perpetually damp—he was sure that was a bad thing. His mouth held the metallic tinge of blood even though he'd swallowed it down a thousand times over.

But none of it angered him. None of it surprised him. What surprised him was how quickly he'd fallen for the false belief that his life could ever be more than this. Dreams of children and grandchildren. Who was he kidding? He had been one step ahead of death for too many years and now the reaper had caught up.

A wheezing sound crept from his lips. It should've been laughter but his lungs too had given up. To survive everything to die here…where was here? He didn't remember much. He'd been asleep beside Jyn. He'd gotten up to get ready to wake Bodhi and go out for supplies. There had been a knock at the door. He answered it and it was all black after that.

All black until Basca and her cronies beating to just this side of oblivion…and over the stupidest thing. His mission on Corulag, the night he met Stardust, had gone south. One of his contacts turned on him and he'd fought his way out of an ambush. Apparently, Basca thought he was the double agent. He'd told her the truth of it but she couldn't be reasoned with.

His stomach clenched. Throughout the interrogation, all he'd said was,  _"Where's Jyn?"_

" _Don't worry."_ Basca answered,  _"She's got nothing to do with this."_

But then the tables had turned. Basca leaned in close and said,  _"She goes free so long as you tell me where the Alliance Base is located."_

His mind reeled. Why did Basca care? How did she not already know? On missions, he was careful never to talk about base with anyone who wasn't completely vetted. He'd never told Basca…but she dealt in the underworld. Surely someone would've told her without the need to resort to torture.

_"_ _You don't know?"_  He said in disbelief.

_"_ _Obviously."_ She sneered.  _"If I did, I would've just killed you and your friends and been done with it. Word travels fast. The Emperor is not happy about that stunt you pulled on Scarif."_

He was unconscious again after that. Whether she'd hit him or he'd succumbed to his injuries, he didn't know. But she'd be back and He'd have to be ready.

He settled into a trance, measuring his breaths. In and out.

Inhale. Jyn is safe. The baby is safe.

Exhale. Bodhi is safe. Jyn is safe.

Inhale.

He felt his heart rate slowing, his eyes growing heavy. It would be so easy to let go. He'd never see them again…but he also couldn't betray them if he was gone. No. He had to get out of this. He'd survived worse. His mind screamed this…but his body wouldn't listen. He felt like he was back on that beach on Scarif, only this time, the waves had come and they hadn't carried him away. They'd crashed over his head, knocking him to his back and pulling him under.

It was getting darker. Not just in the room but in his mind. Until a voice said  _Cassian, you need to open your eyes._  He didn't know who'd said it. It wasn't familiar, but it was kind and warm.

"I can't—trying. Can't" he mumbled.

_You have to. For Jyn. For them._

* * *

Kes and Shara demanded that Galen stay with the shuttle as soon as they docked on Corulag. He was a very wanted man at this point. So, he waited until they disappeared into the throngs of people to run and catch up with Chirrut and Baze.

Oddly, it was the blind one who noticed him first. "You needn't lurk, Galen. I know you are behind us."

Galen slipped out of the shadows and fell into stride with them.

"Figured you wouldn't follow their orders." Baze said.

"How did you know that?" Galen asked.

"Because I know your daughter." He said with a fond smile. "She's not much of a rule follower herself."

Neither was her mother he thought. Galen surveyed the masses of people. The more he looked the smaller he felt. There were too many people. Too many streets. There was no way they could find them. Why couldn't they have given something more in their message. Anything more.

Then, Chirrut stopped walking. Galen nearly walked into his back at the sudden halt. The holy man planted his staff in the dirt and took a breath. His head whipped left and he was walking without any warning. They followed. Baze didn't seem concerned, as if this was a common occurrence. They seemed to have their own language, communicated by gestures and inarticulate sounds. Galen supposed that most who love each other have that. It surprised him but it also didn't.

"There." Chirrut pointed to a building straight ahead. It turned out to be a pretty shabby excuse for a bar. There was a small crowd, but Galen's attention was drawn immediately to a woman at the counter arguing with the bartender.

* * *

Bodhi peered at her as they entered the bar. "Why did we need to come  _here_. I don't want to be the one to remind you but you can't drink in your con—"

"If you finish that sentence I'll break your nose."

Bodhi was silent. Pregnant Jyn did not take jokes well.

She shot him an apologetic glance. "Sorry…look, this is where Cassian and I met. I thought the bartender might remember him. Maybe he's seen him."

Again, Bodhi gave a distasteful sweep of the place. "Here?" He tried to imagine what either of his friends had been doing here and found that some things were better left unimagined.

"It's a long story." She said in response to his questioning look. She approached the bartender and began explaining their quest. The man shook his head and she tried again. It went back and forth this way until suddenly Jyn was yelling.

"We were here maybe three months ago! You have to remember. Dark hair. Really attractive. Corellian jacket. He drinks whiskey. You kicked us out for making out on the bar!"

At that, everyone in the place turned to eye the pair of them. Bodhi was trying hard to hide his smirk. Jyn liked to act like the thing with Cassian had crept up on her…but it sounded like it had always been there. That was more or less what everyone else thought too. Even before there had been proof of their relationship; he, Chirrut, and Baze had taken bets on when it would happen. You didn't light matches around fireworks without anticipating an explosion.

If he ever saw them again—when—he corrected, he owed Baze a new blaster.

In the wake of Jyn's tirade the bar was silent until a voice said…

"Jyn? Bodhi?"

He spun around and found none other than Galen, Chirrut and Baze looking like they'd just walked out of his daydream. His mouth opened and closed like a fish as he cast about for words…any words. But there were none. In two strides of his gangly legs he was hugging them all. Baze grumbled but allowed it. Galen was practically crying. Chirrut smiled in the secret way of his.

"I can't believe it! I mean, I didn't want to hope..." He hugged them tighter. "Glad to see you up and about Galen. Last time I saw you...you didn't look too good."

"Chest wounds will do that." He said with a smile.

Jyn had joined them by then. She stood apart from her father, looking like she wanted to throw herself at him but was afraid to begin. "Papa? You're here?"

"We got your message, Jyn. We were already on our way to Scarif…that's why we got here so fast."

"We stole a shuttle from the rebels." Baze said proudly.

Bodhi had seen Jyn melt a few times now. He was getting used to her splotchy, red nosed, face. That was probably why they were so close after only a few short weeks. They'd seen the worst of each other and there was no coming back from that. Hell, she'd seen him after Bor Gullet...and she still liked him. So, he supposed she was allowed to cry.

"You came back for us." She said it more to herself than the rest of them. Then, she was in her father's arms mumbling that they'd taken Cassian. She needed Cassian.

* * *

Kes watched his wife pace the cargo hold of the shuttle muttering and grumbling under her breath. They'd returned from their brief sweep of the city to find that Galen had left. Really, he didn't see how Shara could be so surprised. The rumors of Erso's daughter painted her as anything but obedient. If it was his and Shara's child missing—should he ever be lucky enough to have a child—he'd have been tearing apart the galaxy too. So would Shara and she knew it.

Then, they saw them walking towards the shuttle. Five of them. Galen and his daughter, Chirrut and Baze, and the man who must be the Imperial pilot Bodhi Rook…but where was Andor?

Apparently, Shara's mind was tuned to the same frequency. "Where's Captain Andor?" His wife demanded when they were aboard.

Apparently this had been the wrong thing to say.

Jyn's red, puffy face turned murderous. "Ask Basca." She growled. Suddenly, Kes understood how this small woman had persuaded half the fleet to follow her into battle.

"Who's Basca?" Kes asked, clearly he had missed something.

"Who are you?" Jyn shot back.

"Friends." Shara answered, "Basca the Zeltron? I know who she is. What's she got to do with Cassian?"

"She took him. I don't know why but I know it was her. We tried charging in there but…" she trailed off. Jyn's eyes locked on the rifles and blasters in a crate near the back of the cargo hold. She practically leapt toward them. When no one else moved she turned a wide eyed stare at the group, "Well, what are you all waiting for? Get a gun and let's go."

Galen, held out his hands in a placating gesture, "Jyn. We need a plan."

"More people. More guns. Better odds than last night. That's the plan. All of you with your plans…My—Cassian could be dead by now."

Kes was mildly surprised by her intensity. She didn't act like someone who'd only known Andor for a few weeks.

Baze, the large one who always towered behind his partner spoke. Kes thought it might've been the first words he'd heard from the man and they were, "I am with Jyn." He hoisted his rocket blaster onto his back.

That statement hung in the air, cutting off all other possibilities. There were two levels of existing--with Jyn, or not. Kes decided  _he_ was with Jyn too.

Shara eyed them all. They looked like a rag tag group…but she knew as well as her husband did what they were capable of. This was Rogue One. Arguing with them was pointless. They'd flat out bulldozed the entire Senate. There was no way he and Shara could corral them now.

"Fine." Said Shara. "But I go in first. I've dealt with Basca before. Maybe I can find out why they took him…or where he is."

Jyn gave a tight nod. "After you, then." She said and Kes didn't miss the way her eyes narrowed slightly. Possessive. Kes didn't know Captain Andor as well as his wife did but he knew that he was a private man who didn't form many social relationships…and he certainly never got  _involved_  with anyone on base…not that he hadn't had plenty of opportunity. But that look in Jyn Erso's eyes was clear. He belonged to her.

As they exited the shuttle, armed like they were headed onto the battlefield. He heard Rook, the pilot, sidle up to Baze and Chirrut and say, "Look, I can't explain too much, but keep Jyn out of the fight—if there is a fight. Anything happens to her and it will be the end of Cassian."

Chirrut smiled and said, "You don't have to explain. I knew about it long before they did. Lucky for us, Baze is the best guardian there is."

Interesting, Kes thought.

* * *

Jyn watched Shara stroll into Basca's shop with her husband beside her. The rest of them were just across the street from the entrance, hidden enough but ready to charge. Her father was beside her, holding a blaster and looking ridiculous, if she was honest. He was a brilliant scientist but he hadn't been known for his military prowess. The fact that he was there though, willing to try, at her side just because she asked…and that he'd come back for her. That she could never forget.

It was a long road to making up for sixteen years of absence…but he was eating up the miles and taking them in stride. She reached out and her fingers found his arm. She squeezed and whispered, "Thank you, Papa."

"Always, Stardust." And she could see that he understood. That he really truly understood.

* * *

Shara kept her face cool. Basca recognized them at once. The Zeltorn tilted her lilac head and smirked. "Kriff, have they sent the entire Alliance after him? What's the matter? You guys short on officers or something?"

"Basca, I don't know what you've gotten yourself roped up into but it's not worth it. Cassian is a hero. He deserves to go home. Whatever happened between you, it's not worth this. Let him go." Said Shara.

"If it were just about him, I would." She shrugged. "But, the Emperor is not happy about Scarif. In fact, the Death Star is on its way to Alderaan as we speak…you have Andor to thank for that. Him an his little crew. You see that's what happens when you get involved where you shouldn't. If you thought Scarif and Jedha were bad…just wait."

"I thought you dealt in stolen cargo and refugees." Shara asked, her hands clenching at her sides. "Since when do you care about the Empire?"

"Since they became the winning side."

Kes laughed beside her. "The Empire will never protect scum like you. They don't even protect their own."

Basca smiled. "That's where Captain Andor comes in…amnesty. I'd have taken his pretty wife too, and the pilot but I gave them a pass. Besides, I needed someone to call for help and drag you all here to distract you from what really matters. You had no idea the Death Star had moved did you? You were all too ready to rush to the first distress call from your _heroes._ "

Wife? Shara filed that away for later. Cassian was so dead if he'd gotten married and not even bothered to tell her. Shara's blaster was against Basca's forehead so fast it surprised even her. "Where is he?"

Basca laughed, "I'm not going to tell—"

Shara gave an imperceptible nod to Kess. Then, she readjusted her aim and fired. One of Basca's men dropped where he stood. The air filled with the sounds of rustling clothes and clicking metal as several people in the shop aimed their own weapons. Others scurried away.

Click. Click. Click.

"Hold your fire." Basca said when Shara's blaster returned to her forehead.

The others joined them. Baze, Chirrut, Bodhi, Galen, Jyn. Shara said, "One more time. Where is he? Tell me or we open fire."

"You're too late. I turned him over to the Empire this morning. He's on a transport shuttle bound for Alderaan." Her lips twitched like she wanted to smile but was to aware of the blaster to do so. "You won't catch them in time."

* * *

They were leaving…with their lives…and Basca was alive. Bodhi wasn't sure how that happened. He was sure Shara would kill her just for spite…or that Jyn would. But she'd held back, mumbling something about Cassian being right.

He'd never run so fast in his life. They were aboard the shuttle all of them painting. Their breathing the only sound in the air. None of them had managed to speak about what they'd been told. He couldn't even look at Jyn.

They'd survived the Death Star twice…and now they would have to do it all over again. He couldn't imagine how she felt. Well, he could, almost.

Kes was at the comm shouting through to the Alliance that the Death Star was targeting Alderaan…but it was too late. Even if they could rally their troops. They wouldn't get there in time.

Shara was at the controls getting them under way to Alderaan. Galen, for his part, was at the data console, frantically trying to hack into Imperial data to track an imperial shuttle that had departed Corulag.

Corulag became the void of space and then...

...and then, the ship dropped out of hyperdspace…and there was an Imperial transport, stalled just far enough from Alderaan…and dwarfing the shuttle was the Death Star. Bodhi had only seen the monstrosity from land both times he'd encountered it. Now, seeing it from the other perspective he felt his blood run cold. Who would build such an abomination? Who would even think of it?

He stopped that train of thought because the answer--or some of it at least, was aboard this shuttle.

Bodhi willed his eyes not to look at Galen but he couldn't turn off his hearing, couldn't _not_  heard his sharp intake of breath and the pained cry that died on his lips before it could escape. Galen's own creation…and he was here to witness it. It was poetic in some dark twisted way.

The moment was broken by Jyn saying, "Is that the transport?"

They all looked to Galen. It took him a moment to snap back to reality but then he shook himself, glanced at the data console and nodded. "If Basca was telling the truth, he's on that shuttle."

* * *

Jyn hadn't said anything, but the crystal had been scorching her since they ran from Basca and the voice in her ear and said,  _There isn't much time. You have to hurry._

Now it was silent. Of course, now that she needed her mother, she was gone. Why was the Force so fickle?

Her father said, "I can hack their system and lower the landing gate but they'll figure out what we've done. Be prepared for an attack the moment the lift gate is down."

He proceeded, fingers flying across the screen. Shara maneuvered the shuttle carefully until they were aligned. Jyn was first in line, but that was quickly vetoed by Baze, Chirrut and Bodhi. She was certain Bodhi had told them her secret…or maybe he hadn't needed to. Either way, they were all looking at her like she was a rare gem to be kept under lock and key.

She hoped her father, and the two rebels hadn't noticed the way Bodhi's eyes involuntarily traveled to her stomach when he talked. The loose fitting Imperial uniform was doing a good job of concealing the growing bump…but it wouldn't be much longer before there was no hiding it. Jyn was short after all.

Sure enough as the lift gate hissed open, there were already stormtroopers there, blasters aimed. Shots rang out but Chirrut and his staff took down the first group and Baze was ready with his blaster for the next. Kes was beside her, protecting her as if he knew more than he should. Did everyone already know? She hadn't pegged Bodhi as a blabbermouth. They were due for a heart-to-heart about that when this was over.

They were running through the halls, calling out Cassian's name. Every so often a trooper popped up but one of them caught them like they'd known he would appear before it happened.

And the crystal burned.

Then, she stopped running. The other's didn't notice, she heard their boots retreating down the hall before they stopped and came back.

"Cassian?" She said as she walked toward the man chained to the wall. He was unconscious…or maybe not. His right eye was swollen shut, mouth bloody, but he grunted when she approached. "Cassian." She collapsed beside him, needing to touch him to be sure he was real.

"Jyn?" He blinked at her. "You…you came back for me?" The amount of surprise in his voice nearly broke her. Didn't he have more faith in he than that? She trusted him with the fate of galaxies and he didn't trust her to fight for him?

"I had to return the favor sometime." She said gently touching his cheek. "Turn about's fair play, right?"

"Jyn, we need to move." It was Kes. The others were already working on the chains. Soon Cassian's hands were freed, and he slumped forward with a sharp cry of pain.

"He's hurt." She said to the others. It was obvious…but she didn't know what else to do. She couldn't lift him, couldn't heal him…so she narrated. "You have to carry him…I—"

"It's okay, little sister. We know." Baze and Kes hoisted him up like a rag doll. Chirrut kept watch while Jyn just kept her eyes trained on Cassian, wanting nothing more than to feel him in her arms once more. She wished to go back to the night on Corulag, to the bar where they met and convince him to run away with her then and there...but would she have loved him or he her? She couldn't love a runner. Her father had run. Her mother and Saw, too. Cassian was the opposite of a runner--he was a fight-until-the-last-drop-of-blood-in-your-veins-cools kind of stayer. Without their struggles, she'd never have seen who he was beneath twenty years of scars.

He was Cassian and he was Jeron, both...and she couldn't have loved one without the other.

When they stumbled into the shuttle at last, Shara shut the gate and pulled away just in time for whatever was stalling the Imperial ship to stop. They watched the shuttle drift ever closer to Alderaan, almost plunging toward it like a magnet to metal.

_You're welcome._  Echoed in Jyn's ear. Followed by a warmth on her cheek and stomach. Then it was gone. But Cassian muttered a name that was unmistakably,  _Lyra_. Could he feel it too?

The ship was silent. The others knew what was coming. The Death Star wasn't here just to look. Jyn couldn't watch. "Set him there." She motioned to the bench. Baze and Kes set Cassian gently on the cot. Jyn crouched on the ground beside the bench so her face could be right beside his.

She heard the unmistakeable boom, saw the flash from the viewport, but kept her eyes on Cassian. He somehow knew what was happening.

His shaking fingers, weakly found her face. "Don't look. Just watch me." He said. "We're alive. We're going home."

 


	13. Good God, Let me Give you my Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ch 13:

Good God, Let me Give you my Life

Jyn woke when she felt the ship drop from hyperspace. She hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep. There was a heavy weight against her chest and across her legs. She realized quickly that Cassian's upper body was cradled against hers. His head lolled against her shoulder while one arm was slung loose around the back of her waist and the other hand cradled her stomach, his thumb rubbing absent circles there.

Someone must've found a medkit because he reeked of Bacta and his shirt was missing entirely...though most of his visible skin was bandaged or bruised. How she had passed out an missed all of that she didn't know.

Cassian was awake, she realized, as she noticed the soft humming in her ears was coming from him. He was humming what sounded like a lullaby…to their child…very much in view of everyone else. And she couldn't have cared less.

The humming died away when she stirred. "How are my girls?" He said softly, his voice still hoarse. He struggled to lift his head to look at her.

"Alive…but my legs are asleep." She said, trying and failing to wiggle her toes.

"Sorry." He tried to move but she held him still and gently shifted herself. He pulled his body up so he was leaning against the wall, sitting upright, ignoring her protests.

As she settled beside him, her mind clicked on. "Girls? Plural?" She asked with a quirked brow.

He gave a sleepy grin a pressed his palm once more to their child, "Your mother let that slip."

"So, you could feel her too? I didn't imagine that?"

He nodded. "She told me I had to stay alive because my daughter needed me."

"Daughter." Jyn echoed. Her eyes dropped to the tiny rise of her belly, and Cassian's hand the barely covered it anymore. She rested her hands on his. "Hi there." She said. She felt the weight of his stare. Her eyes found his, those deep eyes that had once seemed cold. She was sure they had always been this alive, and she'd just chosen not to see it. She meant to say that she missed him, that she'd never been more terrified of anything than she was of losing him, that she could no longer live in a world where he was not...but all she said was, "Cassian."

His hand reached for her. He threaded his fingers in her hair and gently tugged her forward so that their foreheads were resting against each other. "Can you just be kissing me now?" His voice was barely above a whisper, probably for the sake of the others.

She didn't feel the tears coming on. Usually, she could anticipate that sort of thing but since this baby took up residence, her emotions had been no holds barred. The moment he said it, tears were falling onto her cheeks and her lips were against his, tongue tangled with his. He tasted like blood but Cassian, the taste of him, was still there beneath it. His beard had grown longer through Scarif and Corulag and was more soft than scratchy against her skin. His hands found her face as they so often did, and hers mirrored his, keeping them anchored to one another, in this space that was only theirs.

As far as why she was crying…really who could say? Scarif. Alderaan. The loss of the plans. The recovery of the plans. Cassian. A daughter. There were so many things churning inside her, she wasn't sure she would ever work out exactly how she felt about anything.

Except Cassian. She knew exactly how she felt about that one thing. And really, he was the only thing in life she'd ever been sure of.

She was conscious of the fact that the kiss couldn't go farther than this, lest she break him even more…plus her father was a few feet away.

Cassian pulled back first, but he didn't vanish, he held her face against his and against her lips he murmured, "Marry me."

"Yes." She said before she even really understood the question. Then, after a moment, after she'd digested it she said. "The minute we get home. Yes…or now. Can I marry you now? Chirrut's a priest right?"

"How about once I can stand on my own." He smiled. She nodded against him and kissed him again, and again.

Nothing else existed until their private moment was interrupted as it always was. "Well, I guess that answers that question." It was Shara and she was staring at them, dark eyebrow cocked, as amused as one can be in the wake of tragedy.

"Don't worry about them. It's like their lips are permanently fused together. Just ignore them…the rest of us do." Said Bodhi. Baze snorted. Even Chirrut chuckled. "Sometimes I forget they are two separate people."

Jyn chanced a glance at her father. His lips were in a light smile, like maybe he would've been happy for them if the world weren't ending.

"I never knew you were such a romantic, Andor." Kes chuckled. "Better not let word slip around base."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Dameron" Cassian answered.

"The women of Yavin shall be devastated…I mean when I got married, I thought they would never recover—now you're off the market—"

Shara rolled her eyes and slapped her husband's shoulder. Then, she turned to Jyn and Cassian. "When are you due?"

There was a long, heavy silence.

Jyn tensed, "Well, um…" her eyes shot to her father.

He flashed a pole-axed gape at her then said, "Jyn?"

"Oh no, was that not common knowledge? I thought—I mean…all the lullabies and belly rubbing…" Shara looked apologetically at them.

Jyn stood and crossed to her father. "Not how I wanted you to find out but—surprise?" She found herself crushed against him.

"Stardust. That's wonderful. Surprising…but surprisingly wonderful." He looked toward her future husband, what a weird thing to be able to say. "Cassian, I'd hug you too but—"

"Understood." Cassian managed. He laughed for a moment but that quickly became a coughing fit and Jyn found herself back at his side. "You need to take it easy." She said, slipping beside him again so he could lean on her shoulder.

"And it begins." He grumbled.

"When is the wedding?" Chirrut asked. Jyn didn't miss his conspiratorial smile. Sometimes he was worse than K-2 with his running commentary. Well, it was all out in the open now anyway.

"The literal first chance we get." Cassian said, snuggling back against Jyn. "And I expect you all to be there…in clean clothes that don't small like engine rooms."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Said Kes, returning to the pilot's seat. He flicked a few switches and suddenly Yavin was in the viewport.

"Can I be the best man?" Bodhi asked.

"Nope." said Jyn, "I have dibs on you Bodhi Rook--maid of honor." she winked. He rolled his eyes but smiled all the same. Besides, Jyn had plans for the best man that involved alleged back-up tapes. She could hear the comments now,  _"Jyn Erso, are you aware that you seem to have swallowed a large ball?"_

There was tangible relief in the air but it was tinged with the knowledge that they had failed Alderaan. The Empire was one step ahead of them...again. Still, there was hope. The comm had informed them that Leia was safe and the plans were in hand. It was only a matter of time. Wasn't it always a matter of time?

As they swooped toward the jungle moon, Baze tossed a nutribar at Bodhi that clunked on the pilot's head and landed in his lap. "You owe me a blaster." He said. "I said there'd be mini-Andor's by the start of new year."

"Technically, I think I won the bet." Said Chirrut. The three shared a secret smile.

"Yes, but you already knew. So, it doesn't count." Bodhi countered.

Shara laughed. "You were taking bets about them? Some friends you are. Remind me not to tell any of you any sensitive information."

"It was K-2's idea." Bodhi said. He ducked his head when he remembered the droid's fate.

There was an awkward silence for a while as the momentary distraction faded and everyone remembered the world outside the shuttle. They all watched the base drawing closer and closer. Home.

Jyn was the one who broke it. "Technically, none of you won the bet. I'm well over three months along…so the baby will be here _before_ the new year."

"And the plot thickens." Kes smiled. "That's way before they brought her to Yavin. I knew it." He pointed a finger at Cassian. "I was in that briefing and there was way too much eye conversation going on. Even Draven was sweating."

Cassian just flashed a self-satisfied grin and said, "No comment."

Shara folded her arms across her chest and said, "Alright, so…Jyn. Cassian. How exactly did you meet?"

Cassian tilted his face up to her just as she looked down at him. "Well…" they said in unison.

Fin

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there could be an epilogue or a sequel...let me know what y'all want!


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